"I'm going to take a wild guess and say Yvette filled him in on your relationship with my brother," Jules said regretfully.
"It's a good thing you kept your distance then," I said. "There wouldn't have been anything for her to tell right up until last night."
"Yeah, she didn't get much chance to do that, did she?" His nostrils flared.
"Her running in front of a moving vehicle wasn't your fault," I said.
"I know.” He shifted to get comfortable. "I was thinking how we should dispose of her. Then she disposed herself."
"Your thoughts didn't make her die." I leaned over to brush my lips over his cheek.
"Didn't they?" he asked. "If I was focusing better, I could have held her for longer. She might have run away after that cab passed."
"Right, and she could have stepped in front of a bus," I pointed out. "What happened, happened. Nothing we can do will change that." I paused. "This isn't about Yvette, is it?"
"How do you do that?" he asked softly.
"Do what?"
"You always have a way of knowing what I'm thinking."
"You blamed yourself for Yvette's death," I said slowly. "Then you were remembering your brother and blaming yourself for that too. What happened to Auggie? It isn't your fault. Not any more than what happened to Yvette.
"Believe it or not, we can't control everything in our lives." I managed a gentle tease, not wanting to make fun of his pain.
If he could turn back the clock and change things, he would, the same way as I would with my sister. I'd never stop blaming myself for what happened to her, but I didn't want him to blame himself for what happened to Auggie.
"I admire you," he said. Before I could respond, he pointed a finger right at my nose. "If you repeat that, I'll deny it."
"Okay, but can I ask why?" I smiled and wrapped my finger around his to pull it toward my chest.
"Because you didn't sit around and blame yourself for the stuff that happened," he said. "You got out there and you did something about it."
I could almost see him beating himself up about it in his mind, frustrated at the things he hadn't done. Things he never would have done, because it doesn't occur to most people to hunt down others and kill them.
That is, most people don'tacton it.
"Does that mean you admire Boner and Archer too?" I asked.
He groaned. "I really backed myself into that corner, didn't I?"
I laughed softly. "A tiny bit."
"Fine," he said, on an exhale, "I admire them a little bit. But mostly I admire you. You took out six of them, all while building a restaurant empire."
"I thought you blamed my restaurant empire for…"
He pulled his finger out of mine and pressed it against my lips.
"I was wrong," he said. "And if you repeat that, I'll deny it too. You did what you had to do. I did the same, in case you hadn't noticed. I've been working all the hours I could possibly get instead of hunting the city for those monsters. I lay awake at night thinking what I'd do to them. But you, you were out there actually doing it. Making them pay for the things they'd done. I wish I met you sooner, when there were more of them."
"You wish you were my sidekick?" I asked. "Robin to my Batman. Bullwinkle to my Rocky. One of the dwarves to my Snow White?"
He smirked. "I'm no fucking dwarf. My cock is the size of one."
I grinned, amused I'd gotten a rise from him. He was too much fun to bait sometimes, especially when I knew he'd take it and run with it.
For the record? He was right about his cock.
