Skylar
I’m sitting here staring at the paint peeling off my shitty one-bedroom apartment. Wondering when I’ll ever get out of here and into something where I don’t need five locks on my door. I mean anything is better than back home: the one place I hate most in the world. You couldn’t even call it home. It was cold and there were no signs of love. My parents, if you can even call them that, weren't the caring type. Well, let me rephrase that. All they cared about was who went to the store for the next bottle of alcohol. Both of them couldn’t hold a job to save their lives. Once I was old enough, I was made to get a part-time job so I could support their habits, never being able to have a life of my own. Not being able to experience a dance at school, first dates, or even a first kiss. It didn’t matter how tired I was from school or how much homework I had. They didn’t care about any of that. I was trapped in that life always being told I wouldn’t amount to anything. How ugly and fat I am, how no man would ever want to be with me. It got to the point of hearing that daily, I started to believe it. Hearing every day “Oh god you're so ugly. I don’t know how you're my child” or “don’t you think you should go on a diet? No one likes a fat ass” No guy ever approached me at school, so I took my parents' words to heart. What little friends I had growing up, I started to put distance between us to the point I became invisible to people. I didn’t want people to see how far my scars and insecurity ran so I buried it all deep and kept to myself. I tried to run away from home once, I was crying so hard, I didn't make it very far. Before I had to sit down because I was crying so much. I remember walking in from school to my parents fighting again over who drank the last of the bottle when mom came stumbling over to me accusing me of drinking it all. I didn’t see her raise her hand till it was too late and she smacked me across the face, splitting my lip in the process. I just remember looking into her eyes and seeing nothing there; it was like looking into a void. All I remember is running from the house after that with mom screaming at me to get back inside. I ran until I couldn’t breathe and ended up in a park not too far from home. Falling on the bench not realizing someone was already sitting there. I was startled when an old man handed me a handkerchief without saying anything. I tentatively reached for it, not used to people being so nice and, with shaking hands, dabbing at my lip. We both sat in silence for what seemed like hours just watching the sunset. In those moments I finally felt peace and I knew not everyone was bad in the world and that kind people are still out there. I've just yet to meet them until now. I knew I had to get out of my situation because I know deep down you can only save yourself. So sitting there, I made my plan to start saving money where my parents couldn’t find it because no one deserves to live how I’m living. It’s time I start loving myself. It’s time I start believing in myself and it’s going to start right now. I get up and turn to the stranger who sat with me. “Thank you.” He’s looking at me strangely, not knowing why I’m thanking him.
“No thanks needed little one, just a word of advice from a lonely old man. When you can get out, don’t look back. Start living for you and only you. Don’t let anyone treat you like you don’t matter. Show the world what you're made of.”
I gave him a watery smile and walked back home. By the time I got there, they were both passed out on the couch, the whole thing forgotten as if it never happened. But it’s something that stayed with me and it gave me the push I needed to get out. After graduation, I had enough money saved up. I packed what little belongings I had and never looked back. Shaking my head to bring me to the present, I always hate thinking of that time. I still have a hard time keeping eye contact with people when I feel them looking at me. The day I came here and I saw the help wanted sign in the Naughty Beans Cafe, I took that as a sign. Rhylie hired me right on the spot. I was so happy I wanted to cry. It doesn't seem like much to people but it was a big deal to me. She showed me so much kindness that I knew I found my place in life with these people. My passion has always been in graphic design so once I was able to secure an apartment, I saved enough money to get a second-hand laptop to start working on graphics. I started a small business online working with companies who need logos and I’ve just started doing book covers. When Rhylie’s graphics didn’t come on time one day she was freaking out and I offered to make her some. I wanted to give something back to her for showing me nothing but kindness. I came up with something she fell in love with, telling me it’s better than the ones she ordered. So now I do all the graphics for the cafe. It makes me happy that I can give something back and that I’m finally starting to feel what it’s like to fit in. That I finally have real friends. I still have my insecurities where I feel like I’m not good enough or people are making fun of me. Every day when I get up in the morning I look at myself in the mirror and say “you are good enough. Don’t ever let anyone tell you differently. You Matter” The words the old man said to me stuck with me over the years. It’s become my mantra anytime I’m down. I just have to think of him and I get out of my head. I never did tell anyone what happened to me. I don’t want the looks of pity I know I’ll get. People just don’t understand words hurt more than anything. Once it's out there you can't take them back. It stays with someone and if heard long enough, they start to believe it’s true. I just want someone to love and respect me for who I am. That they think I’m the most important person in their life. I see the way that Lucas and Mason look at Rhylie and Faith and I want that someday. I know I’m not the most beautiful woman in the world. I have a curvy body with red hair. Over the years of being on my own, I’ve learned to love how I look and there's not a damn thing wrong with me. I no longer hide my curves in baggy clothes because I feel ashamed of how I look. I wear what I want to wear and if people don’t like it they don’t have to look at me. I found over the years people are just unhappy in their own lives and tend to take it out on you because they feel insecure, just like my parents. So they hurt you to make themselves feel better. It’s not right but it’s how it is. You never forget but you do learn to forgive so you can move on with your own life. I’ve forgiven my parents but I’ll never forget what it taught me in life. You just have to love yourself more and get on with things. Looking at the clock I realize it's well past 1 am and I’ve yet to finish this cover I’m working on, plus I have to be up early to open the cafe. Saving my work I get up and stretch my back. I need to get a new office chair soon. I found mine at a garage sale and it's on its last leg. My back can’t take this hard plastic anymore. Walking into my bedroom I plug my phone in and set my alarm. As soon as my head hits the pillow, my eyes close and I fall into a restless sleep.
Beep, Beep, Beep
Nooo! I just want a few more minutes of sleep. Cracking my tired eyes open, I sit up shutting the alarm off. It's five-thirty am and it feels like I just shut my eyes. Getting out of bed my feet hit the cold floor and I shiver and rush to the bathroom. I go about my morning routine. Throwing my hair into a bun, I walk out and go straight for my closet. I pull on a pair of jeans and my Naughty Beans t-shirt. Heading towards the kitchen, I make a coffee. The only thing I splurged on is a good coffee maker. I can’t start my day without it. It’s what kept me going all these years, even living back home. I worked in a coffee shop and got addicted to it. Downing the only cup I have time for, I slip on a pair of shoes, grab my keys and lock my door. This building gives me major creeps. It's so unsafe and so many drug deals happen here daily it’s not even funny. But it’s home for now. Walking down the stairs at a fast pace because the elevator is broken yet again, I rush outside and make the twenty-minute walk to work. I hate walking this early since it’s still slightly dark outside and you never know who’s around. I don’t own a car because it’s yet another expense I can’t afford. I’m five minutes into my walk when I hear a truck slowing down beside me. I don’t dare look at who it is. I don’t want to give the wrong impression that I’m interested or anything. Trying to walk at a faster pace than I normally do, please just leave is what I'm saying over and over until I hear the most sinful voice I’ve ever heard in my life. Every time I hear him speak, it makes shivers race up my spine. I stop when I hear him idling at the side, and turn to face his truck as he rolls down the window and says,
“Skylar, what are you doing walking by yourself at this time of the morning?”
“I’m on my way to work, I don’t drive and the bus doesn’t run this early so I walk. It’s only twenty minutes from my place.” Shrugging my shoulders like it's not a big deal to me, he gets a dark look on his face like he didn’t like my answer and I’m not sure why. Sure I guess we are somewhat friends but I’m not sure why he’s so concerned. He gets out and rounds the front of the truck opening the passenger side door. Holding it open as if he just expects me to get in. I just continue to stare at him without moving.
“Come on, I'll drive you to work. You shouldn’t be walking by yourself this early. Anything could have happened to you.”
“It’s okay, I don’t mind the walk. I don’t want to be a bother. I'm sure you have better things to do than drive me.” I bend my head so he can’t see how red my face is going, my insecurities rearing up. He walks over to me and lifts my chin with his finger and that one touch from him sends an electrical shock to my body. I hear a low growl coming from his chest and look up into his eyes and they’ve turned darker. He grabs my hand and walks me himself, lifts me like I weigh nothing, and sets me inside. I just look at him opening and closing my mouth with no sound coming out. He puts my seatbelt on and snaps it into place grazing my breasts with his arm. A low rumbled fuck comes out of his mouth. He closes my door and goes around the front to get inside. Pulling away from the curb we sit in silence, his hands tightening on the steering wheel. Opening and closing my mouth like a fish I finally say in a small voice:
“Thank you for stopping Damon.” I can see his hands slowly loosening and the tension leaves his shoulders.
“No problem, sweetheart. Anytime you need a ride, call me and I’ll come to get you, especially this early in the morning. Do you walk home at night as well when you're closing?”
“Umm, you don’t have to do that. I don’t mind the walk.” Not wanting to tell him I walk home sometimes, I say nothing else. I can hear him grinding his teeth and he blows out a breath.
“It’s not safe for you to be doing that. You don’t exactly live in the nicest part of town.”
I can’t hold back my wince with what he said. I indeed live in a shit hole but until I can save enough, I can’t afford to move. I can feel my eyes burning, willing the damn tears to hold. I don't want or need his pity. “I know it’s not safe but it’s all I can afford right now.” I whisper out turning my head to look out the window not wanting to see pity in his eyes. Damon is someone I can’t figure out. He’s the quiet one of the group, always in the background watching as if he’s waiting for something to happen. The first day I met him, the moment my eyes met his, I could feel my face go up in flames. He's got to be the hottest guy I’ve ever seen. He got me so flustered that I ended up spilling his coffee on my shirt. To say that I was embarrassed was an understatement. For a while, after that, I couldn’t look him in the eye. I felt something for him that day and every day after that. My feelings have just gotten stronger. Until all I think about is him, he consumes my thoughts daily. Having him working across the street doesn’t help. I find myself looking out the window too often trying to get a glimpse of him.
“Fuck, Skylar I didn’t mean anything by it. I just don’t want anything to happen to you. You're a beautiful woman and I know how some men can act. They take one look at you and think they have a chance.” He growls the last part out as if the thought pisses him off.
“You think I’m beautiful?” I’m looking at him in disbelief. No one has ever called me beautiful before in all my life. I've heard the opposite of what he's saying, so it's a little hard to believe. Pulling into the Cafe parking lot, he turns to look at me.
“Skylar, you're the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. Don’t you see your perfection wrapped up in a killer body? How can you not see this? You're kind, smart, and always willing to help others. You may have demons baby, lurking in those beautiful eyes of yours but they don’t hide your spark I see trying to get out. So you see, you are beautiful. Not just on the outside but inside as well.”
A tear slides down my face. He lifts his hands and gently wipes them away, giving me a soft smile. My throat is too clogged up to say anything at the moment. Clearing it a few times, I whisper “Thank you.” I just don’t know what else to say. No one has ever seen me the way he’s described to me. He winks, opens his door, and comes around to my side. Opening my door he lifts me out and holds me steady so I don’t fall. He walks me to the cafe door and I take out my keys to open it. I turn to look at him. “Thank you again for driving me to work.”
“Anytime Sky. I’ll pick you up after your shift and drive you home as well. Give me your phone and I’ll put my number in it. If at any time you have to open and close, just send me a text and I'll pick you up.” He’s holding out his hand expecting me to just hand it over and that’s exactly what I do. There’s no way I am passing this up. Scrambling in my bag with shaking hands, I hand him my phone and watch him put his number in. He calls his cell so he has my number as well. He winks at me while passing me my phone. I hold it against my chest not knowing what to do. “Go inside and lock up. I'll see you later.”
Nodding my head, I do just that. He waits until I have the door locked before he gets back into his truck and drives across the street. I never thought my morning would start like this nor did I ever imagine that’s how he saw me. The guy I'm falling hard for telling me he thinks I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. Maybe my life is finally looking up and I'll finally get to feel what true happiness feels like. I hope it's with the man that has stolen my heart. I find out later how wrong I truly was. My life just took a turn and I don't know how I'm gonna pick myself back up and start again.
Skylar
True to his word, Damon picked me up from work and is now driving me home. To say I wasn't distracted all day would be a total lie. He even came during the day to pick up his coffee order and reminded me he would be taking me home after work. All the girls were standing behind me and heard what he said. As soon as he walked out the door, they pounced on me to find out if we’re dating now. I so want that to be true. What I wouldn't give to be held by him just to feel safe and secure. To feel loved by someone... I've never had that. My parents didn't love me. My mom always told me I was a mistake and she only ever did the bare minimum. Once I was old enough, I took care of myself. I jumped in my seat because I was so lost in my thoughts and didn't hear what he said. “I'm sorry, what did you say?”
“I asked if you were hungry. We can stop at the diner before I take you home.”
“You don't have to do that. I'm sure you want to get home.” The truth is I would like to go. I forgot I haven't been to the store yet so I don't even have anything to eat at home. He ignores what I just said and pulls into the diner parking lot, shuts off the engine, and hops out. Well okay then. I guess we are stopping for dinner. My stomach chooses that moment to let out the biggest growl and it's right when he opens my door. My face goes red because I know he had to have heard that. He picks me up and puts me on my feet, steadying me once more. I don’t think I'll ever get used to his hands wrapped around me and the feeling it produces. He grabs my hand and starts walking to the entrance.
“Let's get you fed sweetheart and you can tell me about your day.'' He holds the door open for me and we walk towards the back booth. Sliding in, I look at the table because I just don’t know how to act around him and I don't want to say something stupid. I can feel his eyes on me almost commanding me to look at him. I realize I'm sitting so stiff that it's starting to hurt my back. I blow out a slow breath and look up to see a soft smile on Damon’s face. I will myself to relax. This is just having dinner with a friend, nothing to it. He's looking back and forth into my eyes as if he's searching for something. He opens his mouth and says:
“I don't want you to ever feel like you have to be nervous around me, never with me. I just want to see you smile. I would never do anything to make you uncomfortable or cause you any harm. I would rather cut off my arm than make you sad.” He grabs my hand again and gets a dark look in his eye, as if something is making him mad. “I would kill anyone whoever did something to you.”
That's twice today he's left me speechless. Not knowing what to say, I open and close my mouth a few times, no doubt resembling a fish. “Damon I..” that's all I get out when the waitress walks over to take our order.
“Good evening folks. I'm Amanda and I'll be your server for tonight. Do you guys know what you want or do you need a few more minutes?” Damon looks at me so I order first.
“I'll have the cheeseburger with just cheese, fries, and a coke please.” Damon has a smile on his face as if he has a secret.
