But good God, had she reallydonethat? Kissed himthere?
She hadn’t even known such a thing was possible. Annie Mavel certainly hadn’t described anything like that when she’d delivered her little lesson to Eloise and Francesca all those years ago.
Eloise scrunched her face as she thought back. She wondered if Annie Mavel had even known such things were possible. It was difficult to imagine Annie doing it, but then, it was difficult to imagineanyonedoing it, most especially herself.
It was amazing, she thought, utterly amazing and beyond wonderful to have a husband who was so mad for her. They didn’t see one another too terribly often during the day—he had his work, after all, and she had hers, of a sort—but at night, after he’d given her five minutes for her toilette (it had started at twenty, but it seemed to be getting progressively shorter, and she could even hear his footsteps pacing outside the door during the scant minutes he now allowed her) ...
At night, he pounced upon her like a man possessed. A starving man, really. His energy seemed endless, and he was always trying new things, positioning her in new ways, teasing and tormenting until she was screaming and begging, never sure whether it was for him to stop or keep going.
He’d said that he hadn’t felt passion for Marina, but Eloise found that hard to believe. He was a man ofheartyappetites (it was a silly word, but she could not think of any other way to describe it), and the things he did with his hands ...
And his mouth ...
And his teeth ...
And his tongue ...
She blushed again. The things he did—well, a woman would have to be half dead not to respond.
She looked back down at the columns in her ledger. The numbers hadn’t miraculously added themselves up while she daydreamed, and every time Eloise tried to concentrate they began swimming around before her eyes. She glanced out the window; she couldn’t see Phillip’s greenhouse from her position, but she knew it was just around the corner, and that he was in it, toiling away, snipping leaves and planting seeds and whatever else it was that he did there all day.
All day.
She frowned. It was actually a very apt phrase. Phillip did spend the entire day in the greenhouse, often even having his midday meal brought in on a tray. She knew it wasn’t terribly abnormal for man and wife to lead separate lives during the day (and, for many couples, at night as well), but they had only been married one week.
And in truth, she was in many ways still learning who her new husband was. The marriage had come about so precipitously; she really knew very little about him. Oh, she knew he was honest and honorable and would treat her well, and now she knew that he possessed a carnal side that she would never have dreamed lurked beneath his reserved exterior.
But aside from what she had learned about his father, she didn’t know his experiences, his opinions, what had happened in his life to make him the man he now was. She tried, sometimes, to draw him out in conversation, and she sometimes succeeded, but more often than not, her attempts melted away.
Because he never seemed to want to talk when he could kiss. And that, inevitably, led to his nudging her into the bedroom, where words were forgotten.
And on the few occasions when she did manage to engage him in conversation, it proved to be nothing more than an exercise in frustration. She would ask his opinion on anything relating to the household, for example, and he would just shrug and tell her that she should handle it how she saw fit. Sometimes she wondered if he’d married her just to gain a housekeeper.
And, of course, a warm body in his bed.
But there could be more. Eloise knew there could be more to a marriage, knew there could be moreina marriage. She couldn’t recall much of her parents’ union, but she’d seen her siblings with their spouses, and she thought she and Phillip might find the same bliss if they would only spend a little time together outside the bedroom.
She stood abruptly and walked to the door. She should talk to him. There was no reason she couldn’t go to the greenhouse and talk to him. Maybe he’d even appreciate it if she asked about his work.
She wasn’t going to interrogate him, exactly, but surely there could be no harm in a question or two, peppered into the conversation. And if he even hinted that she was bothering him or making it difficult to work, she’d leave immediately.
But then she heard her mother’s voice echoing in her head.
Don’t push, Eloise. Don’t push.
It took willpower she’d never thought she possessed, since it went against her every last natural inclination, but she stopped, turned around, and sat back down.
She’d never known her mother to be wrong about anything truly important, and if Violet had seen fit to give advice on her wedding night, Eloise rather suspected she ought to pay it careful attention.
This, she thought with a grumpy frown, must have been what her mother had meant when she’d said to give it time.
She jammed her hands under her bottom, as if to keep them from reaching forward and leading her back toward the door. She glanced out the window, then had to avert her gaze because even though she couldn’t see the greenhouse, she knew it was right there, just around the corner.
This was not, she thought through clenched teeth, her natural state. She’d never been the sort who could sit still and smile while she did so. She was meant to be moving, doing, exploring, questioning. And if she were to be honest—bothering, pestering, and stating her opinions to anyone who would listen as well.
She frowned, sighing. Put that way, she didn’t sound a terribly attractive person.
She tried to remember her mother’s wedding-night speech. Surely there was something positive in there as well. Her mother loved her, after all. She must have saidsomething good. Hadn’t there been something about her being charming?
