I lied to him, and used him for magic, and he still couldn’t bring himself to hurt me the way I’ve hurt him, not even after what I said to him at the archives, when I took the heart I already broke and shattered it to smithereens.
“Buthowdid he find you?” Saleen asks, sinking low in her seat. “We only picked this place a couple of hours ago.”
At which point, the future will have marked that decision as made, available for seeing.
“His roommate’s an Indigo.” I curse my own inability to predict. “He’s found me this way before.” I used to think it was charming, back when we were still awe. It used to be romantic as opposed to a death sentence for this table of six.
“Then let’s phase and run.” Ezzo’s not avoiding my eyes anymore, he’s urging me to flee. “He can’t find you if you’re not here.”
“No, but he’ll only keep looking.” That’s something else I used to love about Killen: when he put his mind to a task, he’d pursue it relentlessly. If he’s here, then it means his worry was bigger than his anger, and if he’s worried, then he won’t stop until he knows I’m safe.
Oh my Gods. And suddenly, I get it. Not just the solution, but my mistake. How, once again, I asked the entirely wrong question, then misinterpreted the answer in the worst possible way. That is what Raya Wryvern, of the venerated Wryvern Indigos, has always done best.
“I have an idea—but, Saleen, I need your help,” I say, getting up from the table.
“Okay . . . and are you planning to fill me in?” she asks as I carve a path towards the blond in the revealing dress, her brow furrowing in question.
“No, I just need you to trust me and do as I say; it’ll take too long to explain.” And I’m not sure I could explain it even if I tried to, all I know is that I’ve seen the exact way this scene has to play.
Do Killen and I have a future?I honestly thought I’d worded that question properly, that the fates would understand that I was asking about our relationship and not the part we’d end up playing in their game. But if the past few days have taught me anything, it’s that there’s no point straying from the path they set, especially when it turns out to be this premeditated. Killen came here to save me, and now it’s my turn to save him, because while I can afford to throw away my future, he can’t, and I won’t be the reason he gets tangled up in this web. I’ve done enough damage to him already.
“Glamour our eyes, quickly. His too,” I command before we reach the courtesan, since most typics in her line of work wouldn’t dream of offering their services to a Shade.
“You need something, honey?” She looks me up and down with suspicion, as though trying to decide if I’m summoning the nerve to solicit her or rail against her trade.
“Yes, I—erm . . .”Just do it, Raya. There’s no use fighting fate.“Do you see that guy over there? With the green eyes and the sandy hair?”
“Hard to miss, that one,” the courtesan says. “Why? You going to tell me to stay away?”
“No, I—”Want the opposite, actually.“I’d like to hire you to keep him company.”
“Raya, what—?”
I silence Saleen with a sharp elbow to the ribs, though I do hurry to add, “No sex, just . . . kissing, some conversation. He’ll want to pretend that you two used to date—go with it; it’s part of the game. Tell him you’re sorry and that you want to get back together, then when your hour’s up, send him on his way. Can you do that?”
“That depends.” If the courtesan is surprised by my ask, she hides it well. “Can you pay?”
The stack of coins I drop into her palm confirms I can. “He’ll call you Raya, that’s important, okay?”
“Don’t worry, honey, I’ll take good care of your friend.”
The second she slinks off in his direction, I beat Saleen to the protest and say, “Compel him to believe she’s me.”
“Holy fucking shadows, Raya, are you insane?” Her eyes bug open with rage. “I amnotcompelling Killen to court a hooker!”
“Please, Saleen, you have to trust me.” She can’t hate me more in this moment than I hate myself. “This has already happened—it’ssupposedto happen—and it’s the only way to save the three of them.” I point towards the Hues she deliberately disobeyed her parents to protect.
“You had better have the world’s greatest explanation for this,” Saleen mutters, but with a flick of her fingers, the spell takes effect, plunging Killen into a Red haze.
“Believe me, I do,” I tell her, no matter how unlikely it is or how far-fetched. When you’re an Indigo, you’re always peripherally aware of the future’s twisted threads, how they move and shape us even aswe move and shape them. But this is the first time I’ve ever truly felt them move and shapeme, seen the hand guiding my footsteps. Or in this case, the self-fulfilling prophecy I just committed to fate.
Gods, please let me be right about this.As the courtesan approaches Killen, I force myself to watch the horror for which I paid, to watch Killen’s face relax as he spots “me” and the tension in his shoulders bleed away. Because what he’s seeing isn’t a buxom blond stranger, nor does he hear the courtesan’s true voice when she whispers my lies in his ear, and he believes them not only because he’s spelled to believe them, but because hewantsto believe them, as well. I just broke his heart for a second time and he doesn’t even know it yet.
It’ll be worth it when he’s back in the castle and safe.Away from me, and the Hues, and the Divine Meridian’s murderous intent.Though that doesn’t make it any easier to watch him recreate the betrayal I saw in my head.
When the future first sent me this vision, I experienced Killen’s feelings, not the wrongness now flooding my veins. The future didn’t let me taste the guilt in my stomach, or the regret in my throat, or the self-loathing that’s ripping me tooth from nail. It showed me only the parts that would lead us both here. To now. To today. To the betrayal I was destined to inflict onhim.
And if nothing else, that is one horror I deserve to see.
