He shook his head. ‘I have learned that you have to let the past go, or it consumes you.’
‘How can you?’ she said.
He looked past her shoulder. ‘Anger, recrimination, and bitterness doesn’t change what happened. I could spend the rest of my life consumed by rage and despair, but life is for the living, not the dead.’
‘Did your stepfather teach you that?’
He allowed himself to smile. ‘No. He gave me something more precious: forgiveness. For the rest… it was a realisation I came to by myself.’
‘Then you have more generosity of spirit than I, Sebastian.’
She crossed the few short paces between them and stoodbeside him, looking down at the simple grave. She looked up and her grey eyes searched his.
‘If, as you say, the past belongs to the past, why has there been no one else in your life?’
He shook his head. To let himself love another as he had loved Inez? To fail again?
As he wondered how to respond to her question, he heard his name being called and, grateful for the interruption, he glanced back towards the lychgate. Matt leaned against one of the posts, his hand on his side as if trying to catch his breath.
A sudden fear gripped him. Had Connie taken a turn for the worse? Without a thought of Isabel, he ran towards his brother. As he approached him, Matt held up his hand.
‘It’s all right, Bas! The coach is back with Dr. Neville and I thought you should be there.’
‘Excellent.’ Sebastian turned to Isabel. ‘Come, Lady Somerton, you will approve of Dr. Neville.’
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Doctor Neville pronounced the patient on the mend and commended Lady Somerton on her radical actions. In his opinion, her timely intervention had probably saved the girl’s life.
He departed in the Somerton coach, assured by Sebastian of future patronage.
As darkness fell and the two women sat with Connie, Sebastian retired to bed. He found Matt, seated in a chair by the window of the little bedroom, looking out into the dark night.
Without looking around, Matt said, ‘I’m glad you came, Bas. I felt so bloody useless.’
Sebastian frowned. ‘Your father would turn in his grave to hear you use such language.’
Matt turned to look at him. ‘Don’t go all righteous on me, Bas. I know you are more than capable of bad language. In fact, I’ve heard you use worse.’
‘Well, that was before...’ Sebastian sighed, ‘before I had to learn to be a gentleman.’
It was Matt’s turn to smile. ‘You were always a gentleman, Bas. Even when you were swearing like a trooper.’ He smiled. ‘We’ve missed you.’
‘And I you. You have no idea how much.’
‘I didn’t want to worry you, but the doctor started making all sorts of dire prognostications and I knew you’d want to be here if...’ Matt trailed off.
If Connie had died.
‘You did the right thing, Matt. You two will always be my priority and, as soon as Connie’s up to the journey, you’re both coming to Brantstone,’ he said.
Matt swallowed. ‘I was hoping you’d say that. I resigned from the school today.’
‘Did you indeed? Making a bit of a presumption, aren’t you?’ Sebastian smiled at the sudden alarm in his brother’s face. ‘Whatever good fortune has come my way is yours as well, Matt, but won’t you miss teaching?’
‘Youarejesting? Not for one second! What about you, Bas? Will you miss the army?’
He shrugged. ‘I must admit I am getting rather tired of being shot, but yes, it was my life for a very long time and a life I knew and understood.’
