He didn’t answer. Didn’t know how to tell her.
She sat beside him on the couch, her weight gently dipping the cushion. “You didn’t have to get such a large rental. This place must have cost an arm and a leg.”
He’d managed to find a three-bedroom duplex a few miles from Laine’s house. Across the street from a well-known chocolatier and a front yard garden with flowers and trees,Emmy was in heaven—and the extra bedrooms gave him and Laine privacy.
It was a win-win.
He rested his elbows on his knees and cocked his head toward her, forcing a smile. “It works better. I don’t have to break my back on a couch, and you and Emmy can have some privacy.”
Her lips curled suggestively. “Is that what you want? Me in the other room?”
Leaning back, he draped his arm around her. “No, but I want you to sleep where you’re needed.”
Her eyes softened. “Thank you,” she said, so softly her voice broke.
“For what?”
She rolled her lips together. “For coming to our rescue. For seeing us safely home. For everything you’ve done to make this tolerable for Emmy.” She shook her head, tears thick in her eyes. “Lord knows the last several months haven’t been.”
The bruise circling her eye was a sharp testament to her words. He slid his fingers beneath her chin. “Was this the first time he hit you?” Dammit, he knew the answer but had to hear her confirm it.
Her eyes shifted to her leggings, and she picked at a little ball of lint. “He wasn’t abusive in London. At least not physically. Looking back, I can see he was controlling with money. Jealous, too.”
She brought her gaze to his, and the sadness there was like a hot poker sinking into his gut. “I never suspected he’d hurt us. Never thought for one minute I wouldn’t be allowed to leave.”
Anger fissured inside him again, but he stomped it out. She didn’t need to know that he’d relish choking the life from her ex-fiancé’s body. That he’d go back to do just that once Laine and Emmy were safe in Pittsburgh.
“The biggest shock was learning he had another wife and child.” She swallowed. “That I—we—were the secret family. So much made sense after that. The hushed phone calls, the frequent visits home.”
She let out a loose sigh. “I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m still in love with him. I’m not ... couldn’t be after seeing who he really was. Our lives have drastically changed which has been a shock. If that makes sense.”
“Laine.” Christ, his voice sounded rough. Strained. “You don’t have to justify how you feel. Cameron is a bastard, and he’ll never fully appreciate what he lost.”
She chewed her bottom lip and searched his face. “I wish things were different.”
“I’ve had that same wish for six years.”
I wish Emmy were our daughter.
The selfish, intrusive thought jolted him. He’d never wanted kids before. Hadn’t really thought about it. He’d figured he’d missed the boat, given that he hadn’t had serious feelings about a woman since that night on Christmas Eve.
And he’d been okay with that.
Phantom Ops gave him everything he’d ever wanted. Freedom. Purpose. Brotherhood. A life of fighting and never slowing down enough to realize that it might be okay to want something different.
Something permanent.
He went on dates with other women, filled other women, but none of them were Laine. A rush of indecision swept over him.
How could he possibly give Laine and Emmy a life they deserved? He couldn’t.
“Roarke, you’re so quiet.” Laine giggled nervously.
He let his hand slide down her thigh to rest on her knee. “Sorry, I got bad news while you were putting Emmy down.”
Christ, he was a coward. Shifting gears so he didn’t have to face the torment of looking in her concerned green eyes, which held every regret he carried.
“What happened?”
