I pulled open Stav’s shirt and peered down at his gloriously furry belly.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Checking the twink’s not still stuck down there, trying to get his lolly back. They can easily fall between the gaps, if you’re not careful.”
As we laughed, the rest of the gang rejoined us, their faces betraying various levels of exhaustion.
“That’s it, I’m done,” Jumaane said, puffing. “Let’s head to Vauxhall.”
Vauxhall was where Jumaane and I belonged. The grittier, grimier clubs under the railway arches south of the River Thames were our spiritual home, our natural hunting ground. We could find our way around the darkroom at Crucifix with the precision of bats. We’d spent many a night trawling it in search of, um, let’s call it, er,love… I guess?
I checked the time. Two o’clock. I shook my head. “I’m going to bail.”
Six pairs of eyes glared at me, like this had literally never happened before.
“Are you OK, pal?” Nick said.
“Did you come off the PrEP or something, babes?” Jumaane asked.
“I’m tired,” I said.
Jumaane clicked his fingers in my face. “You’re leaving for a month. Who you think you banging while you’re out in the sticks, babes?”
“Oi, that’s my hometown!” Sunny said.
“Sorry, babes, no offence.”
“Are you saving yourself for the bisexual baron?” Ludo asked.
“No!” I said, a little too quickly. “This next month is all about my career. This is my big shot. I don’t have time for boys.”
“All the more reason for one last hurrah, babes,” Jumaane said.
I sighed, deeply. “I also have lunch with Sir Edward and Angelica tomorrow.” I used my parents’ first names to really drive home the full horror. The boys cringed in unison. “It’ll be easier to cope with them if I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I love you, fam. Thanks for tonight. But I’m off home to crash. See you all in a month, yeah?”
“What is even happening?” Jumaane said, as I pecked him on the cheek.
“Your wee pal has finally discovered something more important to him than cock,” Nick said, as I went around the group kissing everyone goodbye. “I’m so proud.”
Dav smacked his boyfriend on the shoulder with the back of his hand. “Why couldn’t you have said ‘personal growth’ or something, like a normal person?”
Chapter 4
William
Iswung by the folly, my heart thumping as I opened the door. Bramley had been in and dusted and vacuumed, stocked the little pantry cupboard with tea and biscuits, and put fresh linen on the bed. My clothes were all neatly hanging in the wardrobe. Suddenly, I was five years old again, running up these stairs in my pyjamas to my father’s office to kiss him goodnight. My hand went to the ring on the chain around my neck. His ring. I closed my eyes and breathed him in, sucking the essence of him into my lungs before it disappeared forever—replaced by whatever it is I smell like. I missed him. Terribly. When I wasn’t furious with him. My hands started to shake, so I rummaged through the wardrobe, put on my riding gear, and dashed out to the stables.
I’d barely got Achilles saddled up and his girth strap tightened when from behind me, I heard one of those not-so-subtle throat-clearing noises people make to announce their presence.
“Hello, Dub-Dub!”
At the use of my old school nickname, I spun around, quick as lightning, to see my greasy-haired bespectacled horror showof a neighbour, Horatio Blunt, standing in my stables. In all the commotion of the TV crew setting up, I hadn’t heard his Range Rover drive up. If I had, he would not have found me.
“What do you want, Horatio?” I grabbed Achilles’s reins to lead him out into the yard, impatient to get away.
“Nice, is that how you greet an old friend?”
“Of course not,” I said, in all honesty. “It’s how I greet real estate agents.”
