“Because you came home. Early.”
Petey smirked. “You rushed home becauseIwas at home? Do you still think I’m planning to steal the silver?”
“You’re welcome to it, actually. It’s incredibly ugly, and it takes a lot of polishing. Listen, it’s a glorious night. The moon’s out. The air’s fresh. The frogs are busy banging each other’s brains out, and they’re making the most magnificent cacophony. It’s like a bloody concert. Shall we go for a walk?”
He shook his head. “I’ve got work to do. I’ve got an idea for a show I’m trying to knuckle out.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s the?—”
“Then I’ve got a couple of ideas to help you bring in some cash.”
“Helpmebring in some cash? Petey, that’s not really your responsibility?—”
“I know. But why don’t you put the kettle on, wash your feet, and we can have a chat in a bit?”
This was already going off the rails. But this country didn’t become great by chaps giving up at the first hurdle.
“I have a better idea. Why don’t we walk and talk? I can help you hash out your show idea.”
Petey looked up at me. “Actually, I’d appreciate a sounding board.”
“So we’re on?”
“Only if you put some clothes on.”
Ten minutes later, I’d put on my best chinos, a linen shirt, and some loafers. I’d brushed my teeth and combed my hair. While I did genuinely want to hear Petey’s show idea and I was deeply touched he’d been thinking of ways to help me raise funds to save the estate, I was definitely leading him down the path by the Long Water with a singular goal in mind. When we reached the bridge, I was jolly well going to kiss him. With his consent, obviously. I was following my father’s lead, not my grandfather’s.
“Come on, hit me with it,” I said. “Tell your liege man this big idea of yours.”
His eyes lit up.
“It’s a twist on an idea I pitched to Indira before. A dating show where your friends and family get to choose who you get to date.”
“Sounds horrendous. I wouldn’t let my mother choose who I dated.”
“Exactly. Which is why people will watch it.”
“But how do you encourage your victims to take part?”
“Officially? Finding true love.”
“And unofficially?”
“A free holiday. If they go on a date and like each other enough, we’ll send them to a Greek island for a week together. All of which we film, obviously, to see how they get on.” Petey looked at me hopefully. “What do you think?”
I thought I was grateful it was dark out.
“Look, it’s noHimbos on Horseback—which would obviously rate its socks off—but I think there might be something there.” I slipped my hand into Petey’s, as smooth as reins sliding through fingers. His hand felt so right in mine. Part one of Operation Snog was underway. I felt brave and bold and it gave me such a hot rush, I thought my aorta might burst right out of my chestand splatter the cow parsley with blood. I looked at Petey, who smiled down at me.
“I’ll keep working on it, then,” he said.
“How’s the other big show going? I had a visit from Jonty today, by the way.”
“We know you did. He’s been warned. Again.”
“You know?” I looked at him. “You don’t seem… angry.”
“To be honest, we were all quite relieved to be shot of him for an hour. He’s been running around with a lit fuse for days now. He’s driving us around the bend.”
