“Is that younotnodding, meaning he’s not on the estate, or is that you not wanting to answer me because you’re a cuck who believes in obeying the kinds of silly rules that keep old chums from catching up?”
I groaned. Indira had been very clear about not letting the cast know the actual lord was living in the house. But Jonty obviously didn’t intend to leave until he got the information he wanted, and my body ached for my bed.
“Come on,” he said, wiggling his thick black eyebrows. “Be a sport!”
I sensed that he sensed my resolve was waning. But if I was going to risk the wrath of Indira Murray, I was going to get something for my trouble.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
“Anything. What do you need? Daniel Craig’s telephone number? Henry Cavill’s discarded underpants?”
“It’s William, actually,” I said.
“Oh, hello.” Jonty’s eyes sparkled. “You’re such a horndog, Petey Boy. Honestly, you’re insatiable.”
I sighed. “What’s his deal?”
“You mean, is he as bisexual as the papers say? No idea. Never even known him to go on a date, if I’m honest. I thought he was in a committed throuple with his rugby team and his library books. You could’ve blown me away with a pheasant when I saw the infamous photo inThe Bulletin.”
“No, it’s not that.”
“Do you need a character reference?”
“Well, yes, actually. He seems really?—”
“Hot?”
I shook my head.
“Sweet?”
“Out of his depth.”
Jonty cackled like a hen laying a Rubik’s Cube, which wasn’t an encouraging sign.
“I’ve got a lot riding on this show going well,” I hissed. “I need to know if he’s a liability. Because so far, all signs point to yes.”
Jonty took a deep breath, his face turning serious: something I don’t think I’d ever seen it do before. That wasn’t encouraging either.
“Look, he used to be a lot of fun. Dub-Dub never asked for any of this,” Jonty said, swirling a finger through the air. “He’s doing his best with the cards he’s been dealt. But I’ll tell you this for free. While I’ve known plenty of chaps with bigger brains than William, I’ve never known anyone with a bigger heart. With Dub-Dub, everything comes from a good place. Always.”
Jonty’s blue eyes were bursting with sincerity. I was still taking in what he’d said when he transformed back into Ludo’s obnoxious brother.
“That was some top-shelf wingmanning on my part, I thought,” he said. “No round of applause, I notice. Shame. Still, did you get what you need?”
“I asked if he was a liability.”
“Oh, total liability. I’d keep a close eye on him. Don’t let him out of your sight. Best to stick to him like shit on your shoe.”
I rubbed my temples. This was pointless. I wanted my bed.
“So, is he about?” Jonty asked, eyebrows raised in hope. “Deal’s a deal, and all that.”
I nodded. “He’s lodging in the folly. No one is supposed to know. So if you get caught, you’re on your own. I amnotlosing my job over this.”
“You’re a prince!” Jonty grabbed me by both shoulders and planted a kiss on each of my cheeks. “I’ll put in a good word for you with His Lordship.”
“I don’t need your help, thank you very much,” I called after him. “And put your microphone pack back on when you’re done!”
