“And where would you go?”
“Somewhere I could feel the stress melt away, the obligations, somewhere I could feel the wind in my hair and feel free. Where there’s no pressure, somewhere that feels so safe I can just live and not worry about a single thing.”
I realize the truth of it as I admit it, speaking the words into existence, that that’s the dream.
“Tell me a secret, Rhys. Something no one else knows,” I say, not giving him time to respond to my confession.
Rhys rubs his hand across his beard, slightly shorter today than the last time I saw him, like he cleaned it up before he came in. The silence stretches between us, moments passing as I wait. It’s not tense or awkward, it’s comfortable, like there’s no rush. Locked in this closet, just the two of us, time is at a standstill.
“Alright, I’ve never told anyone this, mostly because I don’t know how to say it without sounding dramatic.” My eyebrows lift slightly, waiting on a curious, bated breath.
“I’m scared,” he admits. “Not of failing, I can handle fucking up, and I’ve done it a million times before. I’m scared of never being seen for who I really am. I’ve kept so much of myself hidden, and I know I’ve done it intentionally. It’s a conscious thought to do it. It’s almost like it’s become a habit I’ve built because I’m terrified to lose that piece of myself, so I keep him locked up. But I’m scared no one will ever see and appreciate the real me.” Rhys rubs his hands up both thighs, like the nervous energy I can read on his face is affecting him everywhere. “Anyway, you’re the first person I’ve felt safe enough to tell that to. I guess what I’m trying to say is that meeting you makes me want to stop hiding. And that terrifies me more than anything.”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from making any noises, my hands gravitating toward each other to twist and pull anxiously. This man may be well over six feet tall and built like a brick wall, but he truly is all gooey on the inside. Of course, he would need to protect that piece of him, but to be scared no one will see that side of him and appreciate it for what he’s worth? My heart fractures at the thought.
Rhys gives a small, nervous laugh when I don’t immediately say anything in return. “I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with that, but I needed you to know anyway.” His eyes soften in that way that makes my chest ache. I lean forward, even if we’re separated by the width of the small room, wanting him to hear my words and hoping like hell they hit their mark.
“I see you, Rhys. You don’t have to hide from me.”
Chapter Nine
RHYS
She’s fucking engaged. I feel the earth shake and crumble under me the moment I’m alone. This was one hurdle I wasn’t expecting. Who the fuck is this asshole? There’s no way he loves her like I could. No way he gives her what she needs. And the reason I know that? If your man is loving you the way you need to be loved, there’s no fucking way she’d be as accessible as Bristol is to me.
The way that woman looks at me, I know she feels this between us. We may have just met, but it was instant, a chemical bond between two people, where no words need to be spoken, no touch needs to be exchanged; it was chosen for us, and we’re just lucky enough to find it. She makes me want to put it all on the line, give her parts of me that I’ve kept locked up for so long.
The guys may joke about me being soft, but they’ve got no real idea. With Bristol? It’s easy to let that side of me come out. It’s natural. Organic. This is a once-in-a-lifetimekind of thing.
There’s no world in which she doesn’t end up with me. I just need to be patient.
Me: We’ve got a problem
Chaos: What kind of problem?
Malice: I told you I should have followed him! No one listens to me!
Wrath: Club problems or personal problems?
Chaos: He should have led with that
Me: She’s engaged
Wrath: Oh shit
Malice: To be married?
Chaos: Well, time to come home brother
Wrath: Sorry man. What’s the saying? There’s plenty of fish in the sea?
Malice: I think it’s ‘the universe is already arranging better things’
Wrath: That works too
Malice: Or ‘not every loss is a loss, some is a redirection’
Wrath: I guess that works too
