The thought of leaving Aisling gives me hives, and I choke, “I can’t…”
“You can and you will,” he commands, his enforcer mode coming out, “We need this, Jasmine!”
I look away because I know he’s right, we do need this, to be just us again, the us before we left but-but…
“Aisling will be safe with dad, and he is very excited for some granddaughter time because she’s obsessed with Vincent, who will be driving the truck,” he whispers, and I can’t help the small smile before I choke, “and what about the baby?”
“The baby,” he says loudly, gaining everyone’s attention, the women gasping, “will be perfectly fine because I’m going to ride slow.” And my eyes widen at his announcement of my pregnancy while the club erupts in cheers, and Logan grins.
“You, Jasmine Williams, are my old lady, my love, my fucking everything and I’m scared,” he says and a few tears fall as he whispers, “You’ve gone in on yourself and I think a ride will do us both some good especially after last week and then, when we get back, we’ll hash everything out. We’ll talk about our pain, the past, fucking everything so I can get my girl back and then we’ll figure out what route you want to go down. Whether it’s a stay-at-home mama with our kids or if you want to work for your uncle, whatever you decide, I’ll stand by you, but for now, please, buttercup, get on the back of my bike.”
My bottom lip wobbles as his eyes plead with me and I take a deep breath and going against my fear for Aisling and our unborn baby we have yet to discuss, I nod once knowing he’ll keep me safe, that his dad will die for our daughter and he physically relaxes before taking me into his arms and I melt, allowing his strength to get me through this, to help me heal from my mistakes.
Chapter 30
Tank – Six Days Later
“Alright, the run was successful—over one point five million has been spread between the ten hospitals each club picked. The next run, in five months, will raise money for underprivileged sports centers and help keep delinquents off the streets,” Dirty reads off his laptop. “And our club accounts are well in the green, so we can upgrade the diner.”
The brothers bang on the table in celebration, and I grin widely.
The fun run was fucking amazing, and the fact that my girl could be there with us… Damn, it was everything.
Don’t get me wrong, she called dad several times, which he didn’t mind, and she was continuously worried, but it was still good to have that time with her, bringing her into my world,a world she couldn’t be a part of six years ago because of her family, well, more her mother, anyhow.
She wore my cut the whole time, letting me claim her. Now, I just need my ring on her finger. But before that, we need to talk about her not trusting me, my lingering resentment, but I don’t know whether we’re ready for that.
We’ve been back for two days, and I did promise her, but I just, fuck…
Old wounds don’t always heal, I guess, and I’m scared she’ll run.
“Tank,” Doc says, getting my attention, and I look his way as he confirms, “You’re back at the hospital this weekend?”
I nod and confirm, “Three nights in a row, five days off, then three-day shifts in a row. I’ll help Dirty during my five days off, but expect Jasmine to be with me on those days, Dad said he’ll watch Aisling until Jas is ready for her to go back to school and ballet class, which hopefully will be soon.”
“Have you two spoken yet?” Ace asks, and I wince and shake my head.
“What are you afraid of, brother?” Stone asks, and I huff, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe her leaving me again, and not just taking my heart that she finally glued back together and my daughter, but also our unborn child?”
“She wouldn’t, Tank,” Trigger states, and I look down, not believing him, but he continues, “She loves you. You can see it in her face, brother. Every time she enters the room, her eyes look for you. If you come out of church, she physically relaxes. She won’t leave you again.”
“He’s right,” Doc chimes in, “she feels guilty, Lo, that is clear as day and don’t get me started on her trauma with her mother and what she had to do, but where you are concerned, she’s struggling with the guilt of not trusting you, of not coming to you when the threats first took place,” Doc gives me a soft look,“She knows if she’d just spoken to you, then everything that had happened, from giving birth alone and struggling to make ends meet for herself and your daughter to your mama trying to harm her and her mama succeeding in harming Aisling would never have had happened. She’s scared you’ll run away when you realize you’ll always resent her for not believing you could keep them both safe, for taking your home from you in her and not giving you a chance to be a dad for the first five years of your daughter’s life.”
I look down again and mutter, “I don’t… I mean, yes, there is a little resentment. But I don’t think I’ll always resent her. Right now, it hurts, but I know there are still some firsts I’ll get with Aisling. I also know I’ll be there every step of the way with this pregnancy, and with any after that. I love her, and I want to make her my wife. I just need her to fight for me, for us…”
“She is,” Anchor says. “Her being here, bringing Aisling to meet your family, leaving your daughter with your father so she could ride with you—she’s proving she’s fighting for you. If you’d seen her content resting against your back, you’d know she isn’t leaving.”
I nod, my throat tight with emotion, and choke out, “Thank you, all of you, for never giving up on me when I gave up on the club.”
Doc snorts, “You didn’t give up on the club, you just needed a little R and R, though Thunder continuously trying to hurt himself was kind of hilarious.”
The brothers chuckle, and I grin.
“The fucker is lucky he didn’t do any permanent damage to himself,” I remind Doc, and he shrugs and says, “I say it’s payback for hitting my girl with a bat.”
I laugh this time because, yeah, now that time has passed, that day was fucking funny, and Thunder looked ready to piss himself which just made it even better.
Doc shakes his head just as the church door bangs open—my laugh cutting off—as Caleb rushes inside and Vincent follows, looking pissed while holding his junk, and I raise a brow, shifting from amusement to confusion.
