I walk into the garage ten minutes later, ready to fix Thunder's fucking bike before my night shift, but groan when I see the woman standing at the desk, biting her bright red nail but before I can turn and walk out and send Dirty inside to get rid of her, the box sitting on the desk has me sucking in a breath.
“Chanel,” I say as I walk over to the desk, the box my main focus, and I swallow hard, seeing the pink scarf Granny was knitting before she passed for Jas.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, this will send her down the rabbit hole.
I know she hasn’t mourned properly yet, our girl, having her appendix removed, taking center stage but this, yeah, this will send her over but the question is, can I be the shoulder she needs when I’m still pissed at her?
Okay, so I won’t be giving the box to Jas just yet.
“Hey Tank,” Chanel whispers but I don’t look at her, instead I put my hand inside the box and pick up a picture of Jas when she was around five, her arms wrapped around her Granny’s neck, a big smile on her face and I smile slightly as I place it on the desk. Deciding to keep that one, before I look through the box some more, seeing all of Granny’s prized possessions.
Jas may have donated all the inheritance, which, according to Brady, their father is extremely proud of her for, something I know Jas will be shocked to learn, but these items, fuck, they will mean everything to her.
Her mother is still apparently on the war path, and the man has been watching Bruce, who seems to be fucking anything with a skirt but their father apparently wants a relationship with his daughter, though he doesn’t yet know about his granddaughter.
Brady told him to give her time, in other words, to wait until I’ve spoken to her which is impossible when we’re barely speaking and when we are, I’m saying nasty shit, throwing my pain back in her face.
“I thought you may like these,” Chanel whispers, and I look her way and say, “Thanks, I’ll make sure Jas gets them, she’ll love having her Granny’s things.”
She furrows her brows as her eyes look over me, jealousy clear as day in hers at the mention of my girl, and I sigh.
She needs to leave.
She was hoping for more coming here, which is getting ridiculous, but before I can open my mouth, she shocks the shit outta me and throws herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and slamming her lips against mine, my hands automatically going to her hips, squeezing tightly.
What the fuck?
Chapter 20
Jasmine
I swallow hard as I look through the rearview mirror at Aisling happily swinging her legs in the backseat of Logan’s truck, the prospect, Vincent, following behind, his focus solely on my daughter and me, the same prospect I had to beg to allow me to leave the house for the first time in two weeks.
When I woke up this morning to Aisling poking my nose with her little finger, asking where her daddy was, I thought I’d dreamt seeing Logan again, but when reality caught up with me, and I realized he’d gone out without a word yet again, dread filled me.
For the past two weeks, the only thing he has snapped at me is about how he’ll never forgive me for leaving, breaking me even more. Otherwise, it’s a side glance, and that is it and I just…I miss him, more so than ever.
After he called me a selfish bitch, I closed myself off, I couldn’t help myself. He has no idea the amount of things I’ve given up to ensure Aisling was safe and I don’t just mean a mattress under my body, clothes in the closet or even food on my plate but also my career. The passion I held to become a lawyer with my uncle, it all got wiped out when I put our daughter first, just like I was trying to two weeks ago when I said she can stay until I’ve earned enough money for a better apartment meaning getting two extra jobs and then deciding our childcare arrangement that works best for her, not us.
I chew my bottom lip. He hates me, that much was obvious, but over the past two weeks, since he forced me to stay at the house I once saw as my own, he’s been acting like I irritate him. Every time he’s left, it’s always before Aisling, and I wake, and when he returns, it’s after dinner time, where he’ll put Aisling to bed and then disappear into ou– his room.
I feel like I’m living on eggshells, and I can’t help but think – is all this really worth it, especially around Aisling?
He locks the doors and windows, has his dad come sit with us until he’s home, but he acts like I’m a pest in his home, a home I used to see as my own, a home I was making with him.
I look back at the road as I signal towards Rebels Motors and swallow hard.
I miss the man I fell in love with, the one who would ensure he knew I was his one, who would always put me first and look at me like I was his everything, and I think it’s time we figured our shit out.
I want Logan back, my Logan, not the one hurt and blindsided over a decision I made to protect him, his club and our daughter. I know I stayed away for too long but the longer I waited to try and call, the harder it got for me and the more the inner voice made me believe he moved on, even when Granny claimed he was broken, I mean, Jesus, I didn’t get to say goodbye to my owngrandmother because I was protecting those I loved, I haven’t even mourned her yet.
“Go fight for your man…”
Her voice echoes in my head, and I take a deep breath as I pull up near the closed gate but frown.
He was gone when I woke at seven-ten, so why isn’t the garage open? I mean, where else would he have gone? His shift at the hospital doesn’t start until tonight, or that is what I overheard him tell his dad on the phone yesterday.
The thought of him with another woman flashes, and I try to breathe through the heartache, and I look at Aisling in the rearview mirror and say, “I’m just going to go see if daddy is here, okay, bumblebee?”
