Six years of hoping and praying, and that one call to Granny, wanting to make sure I’d moved on, proves we are done.
“Fuck,” I choke and drop my head as my eyes water, and I breathe heavily, trying to control my emotions, the epiphany suffocating me that I feel like I can’t catch my breath before I hear my back door open and I try not to groan as I squeeze my eyes tighter.
Fuck’s sake.
“What can I do for you, Dad?” I ask, exasperated.
I’m too fucking tired for an argument, and besides, he should be living it up with his quick fuck like he always does after church while Mama plans a wedding that won’t be happening.
So why is he here?
I really shouldn’t have given him a spare key in case of emergencies, especially when I barely say two words to him.
“For you to finally talk to me, son,” he says as he takes a seat beside me, and I shake my head.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” I mutter, and I look out at the yard, the dead flower beds always catching my attention as the dogs sniff around them and the sparkle in her eyes burn through my soul as the memory invades my mind.
“I love you…”
Her whispered declaration haunts me, just like the memories of her and I drop my head again.
“Oh, there is, and the fact that Lyndsey was yet again at the fucking clubhouse is making it harder to ignore everything, Lo,” he mutters in return.
“She was just a way to escape Mama pushing Kate on me, Dad, don’t look too much into it, it meant nothing, and the cougar just wants her easy life back after I told her husband about our affair,” I placate, and he snorts as my lips twitch.
Yeah, I guess it is funny when you think about it.
“Is she the reason why you’re never at the club and only show for club business despite family days being mandatory? Why younever speak to me, or the brothers?” Dad asks softly, and I clear my throat.
“One of the reasons,” I admit quietly, not willing to say anything else as I look back at the garden bed while taking another swig of my beer, as my phone buzzes.
“Let me guess, your mama?” Dad confirms, and I hum, not bothering to check my phone, already knowing it is indeed her.
Forty-three times she’s tried calling me today, despite knowing that Tuesdays I go radio silent to spend time with Granny, yet she won’t stop calling.
Shocker right?
“She’s pissed I dodged another family event where she’s invited the leeches, fuck, she’s pissed I haven’t spoken to her in six years after she tried giving me an engagement ring and demanded I give it to Kate. Not that I spoke much to her before that anyhow,” I admit before taking another swig of my beer and he sighs but he doesn’t reply, instead I can feel his eyes on me as silence comes between us and I know he’s seen my arm.
“Who is Jasmine, son?” he asks carefully, caution etching his tone, “I haven’t wanted to pry for quite some time now but nearly two years after you got that tattoo because yes, I noticed it since day one even though you believe I never paid attention. You’ve withdrawn from yourself more than usual and honestly, I feel like I’m losing my son, so who is Jasmine?”
“She’s my past,” I rasp, refusing to look his way as I admit, “and it’s time I try to move on from it even if it hurts.”
Emotions choke me, but I try to swallow them as my dad wraps his arm around my shoulders and whispers, “I’m so fucking sorry, son,” knowing how much Jasmine must have meant to me for me to ink her name on my body.
A brother doesn’t ink a woman’s name onto his skin unless he sees her as his forever, it just happens that my forever didn’t see me as hers.
Chapter 6
Jasmine – Age Twenty-Seven
I rub my forehead as I lean over the small kitchen table, going through my bills, and I swear, breathing becomes difficult at the overall price for this month. Every decision I have made so far haunts me and my bottom lip wobbles.
I thought I was making the right decision by leaving, by protecting…
I’m failing.
A few tears fall as I look over the letter. The utility bill is higher than last month, making my heart pound, and I swallow hard while my hand shakes with fear.
