Prologue
Tank – Age Sixteen
“Oh my baby boy, you look so handsome in your suit,” my mama sighs as she fusses with the labels of the dark blue suit she fucking picked out for me with a wide grin on her face looking like that cat out of Alice in Wonderland, a movie by the way, she has forced me to watch with her too many times I’m willing to admit in the past few years.
Don’t snap, don’t snap, don’t snap,I try to remind myself, but the more she presses down on my suit, the more I tense.
I fucking hate being touched, especially by her, but I guess the thirteen drunken burn marks on my back, the first one when I was four, the last one when I was six would do that to you, the reason why I favored my dad growing up.
She wanted a girl but got a boy, and she hated it, and dad was none the wiser….
“Sara,” Dad huffs as he walks over to us, his dark grey eyes like my own staring at my fisted hands, my anger wanting to take over, reading me like a book.
Growing up in the Rebels MC, my dad was always my hero. He was someone I wanted to be, until I hit around fourteen. My mama went from the docile wife letting her husband raise their son how he saw fit from the age of six so she didn’t have to be reminded of the fact she didn’t have a girl and that I could take over from my dad and become the clubs enforcer, to fussing over me like she didn’t ruin my early years. She’d interrupt my schoolwork, interrupt my time with my friends, interrupt my training and he allowed her.
He let her take over my fucking life so he could fuck a clubwhore.
Tiffany is his main girl, who has also tried several times to get into my pants even though I’m only sixteen and she’s nearing thirty. He started screwing her after Mama had a four year long fucking affair, something she started after Dad admitted to having the snip when she kept bringing up wanting another child and she realized she couldn’t get her girl from him.
I was their oopsie baby or more like Dad’s oopsie baby, a baby my dad didn’t want but was trapped with. When they met and he made it clear despite her being his everything, he didn’t want kids and so she didn’t lose the property patch he gave her, claiming her in the eyes of the club, she lied about being happy not having kids then fucking trapped him, poking holes in his condom like a patch chaser. As soon as she had found out, around the time I was ten that he had gotten the snip, making it clear kids were out of the picture for him after me, Mama started her affair with some shop owner.
She miscarried two of her lover’s babies before Dad had found out the truth. Apparently, the doctor stated she had to get her last tube tied because another pregnancy would kill her, whichbroke her even more despite the fact her husband had found out she cheated and she could have lost him if the child had survived.
Dad mentioned the condition, but I can’t fucking remember, but anyway, Mama's affair was her way of punishing Dad for not wanting more kids. The pregnancies were happy accidents in her mind, and Dad had found out about her affair after she was rushed to the hospital with internal bleeding during the third accidental pregnancy around two years ago.
His last set of test results confirmed his sperm count was zero, so when the doctor explained about the baby being in the mama's other tube or something, Dad lost it and nearly left her.
She had to fucking beg him not to leave and when he was still adamant that they were done, she refused to go. Dad, because of his love for Mama, couldn’t hurt her physically and instead began fucking Tiffany. I was put on the back burner for him, too hurt to remember he was supposed to be teaching me the ropes of the club until it was too late for him to notice his fuck up. Mama had dug her nails into me, not giving a shit that I remembered her fucking treatment towards me before acting like I didn’t exist after I turned six, all because she wanted a girl, mentally fucking me up.
“You look so pretty, baby,” Mama whispers, and my tears fall as I eye the pink, fluffy dress she just forced me into, little pink hair clips shoved in my too-long hair.
I want to cut it, it’s always itchy and gets in the way when I’m playing but she won’t let me. She lied to Daddy, told him I wanted it long, but I don’t and when I tried to cut it myself she burned me.
My back hurts where she stuck a hot poker to it when I said no to the dress, the seventh one she’s given me, and I bite my bottom lip to stop me from screaming at her that I hated her.
“Oh, hush, Paul, our son is taking Kate to homecoming, this is a miracle that I have been trying to make happen for so long.” Mama gushes, her dark brown eyes sparkling with happiness, and I eye my shaved head as my anger doubles.
I did it as a fuck you when I was eight. She hadn’t said a word to me in two years so I thought why not and grabbed my dad’s clippers believing she didn’t care anymore but I was wrong.
She broke my TV and phone that Dad bought me when she saw me the next day before ignoring me yet again and dammit, I fucking miss the days when she wanted nothing to do with me. I really fucking do because now, my whole life is under a microscope with her, and god forbid I’m home later than fucking normal from school.
“He didn’t even want to take Kate to the fucking dance you are forcing him to go to, just leave the poor fucking kid alone!” Dad snaps, which he rarely does, but I don’t even flinch.
It’s best I just do as I’m told, the last thing I need is for her to fucking show up at school or worse, try to get me to wear a fucking dress again, though to be honest, I think she’s pushing Kate on me because the girl is her best friend's daughter. She treats Kate like the daughter she never got to have.
“Paul,” she gasps, and I shake my head and mutter, “I’ve got to go,” and I turn and walk out of the house that no longer feels like a fucking home ignoring them both.
They shouldn’t be together anymore, they really shouldn’t.
***
“Oh my God, Logan, tonight was so magical,” Kate gushes four long fucking hours later, and she leans back in my truck, her hand on her heart, and as she smiles widely.
I roll my eyes and pay attention back to the road, squeezing the steering wheel tightly as frustration sizzles inside me.
We spent the fucking night sitting at a table while the students stared at me in shock while I had a permanent scowl on my face as she tried to hang on my shoulder, begging for me to dance with her.
All the other club brats, Asher, who will take over from his dad and become pres, Cage who will be our VP, Tyler who will be our sergeant in arms, his girlfriend Ashley who he has been with since they were like ten and Luca who will be our clubs secretary and his blood brother Alex who will be our treasurer, all ditched, not being caught dead in that shit. Yet here I fucking am, stuck driving this high maintenance dramatic girl home, the balloons and streamers that were all over the place making it look tacky, the theme starry night, still blinding me even after leaving ten minutes ago much to Kate’s dismay.
