"She's bigger already," The voice of Owen sounded kind of soft, something soft in his voice. "Growing fast."
Riley made her way over to Lucy. They'd bonded over the past few days, I'd noticed. Two women who understood what it meant to raise someone else'schild, to fight for a family that wasn't given to you by blood.
"How are you holding up?" Riley asked. "Getting any sleep?"
"Some," Her voice showed some tiredness. "Cal's been helping with the night feedings."
Riley glanced at me, something knowing in her expression that I chose to ignore. Then she turned back to Lucy and started sharing tips—which formula was easiest on newborn stomachs, the trick to getting a baby to sleep through the night that she'd discovered by accident and now swore by.
Lucy listened. Asked questions. Laughed at something Riley said. And I watched her in this chaos—surrounded by people, accepted without question, part of something bigger than herself—and I thought:she has a community now. She has again. She belongs again
The crew had adopted her the same way they'd adopted me, fifteen years ago. The same way they adopted anyone who needed them. No hesitation or conditions. Just open arms and terrible jokes and a willingness to show up.
And I want to be part of it.
The thought caught me off guard. Not just wanting to help her have this, or making sure she's okay. I wanted to be part of it, part of her life.
I wanted to be the one she called at 2 AM. The one she leaned on when things got hard. The one who was there, not just as a neighbor or a protector or a promise kept, but as something more.
I wanted to be hers.
And that terrified me more than any fire I'd ever faced.
Four days in, and I was spending more time in Lucy's apartment than my own.
When she finally fell asleep, it was around midnight. I'd promised to take the night shift for the baby, told her I'd wake her if anything was wrong, and for once she hadn't argued. Just nodded, kissed Gabrielle's forehead, and disappeared into the bedroom.
Now it was 3 AM, and I was on her couch with Gabrielle in my arms.
She was awake. Not fussy, not hungry, just... awake. Staring up at me with those dark, unfocused eyes, her gaze drifting across my face like she was trying to figure out who I was and what I was doing here.
"Good question," I told her quietly. "I'm not sure I know either."
She blinked at me. Made a small sound that might have been agreement or might have been gas. Hard to tell with newborns.
"Here's the thing," I said. My voice was barely a whisper, meant only for her. "There was this guy. Mateo. He was my best friend. The best person I ever knew. And he loved your mom. He loved her so much, and they were going to get married, and theywere going to have kids, and it was going to be this whole beautiful life."
Gabrielle's hand found my finger again. Wrapped around it, held on.
"But he died. He died, and I was there, and I couldn't save him. And the last thing he said to me was to take care of her. To take care of Lucy." I swallowed hard. "So that's what I've been trying to do. That's why I moved into the building across the hall. That's why I've been here, every day, trying to be whatever she needs."
The apartment was quiet around us. Just the hum of the refrigerator, the distant sound of traffic, the soft rhythm of Gabrielle's breathing.
"But here's the part I didn't expect," I continued. "I didn't expect to fall in love with her. I didn't expect to want this—you, her, all of it—so much that it scares me. I didn't expect to start building the life he should have had."
Gabrielle yawned. Clearly unimpressed by my confession.
"Your mom doesn't know it yet," I whispered. "But she's saving me too. Every day. Just by letting me be here. Just by letting me help."
I looked down at her tiny face, this baby who had no idea what she'd stumbled into. This abandoned scrap of life who had somehow become the center of everything.
"I don't know what I'm doing," I admitted. "I don't know if this is right. I don't know if Mateo would forgive me."
Gabrielle blinked at me one more time.
Then she closed her eyes and went to sleep, still holding my finger.
I was in love.
