The train station is crowded with afternoon travelers, but Alexei’s men have cleared a path to the private platform. Kira holds my hand on one side and Pyotr’s on the other, with her spy coin carefully tucked in her pocket. She keeps looking upat the high ceilings and the pigeons roosting in the rafters, momentarily distracted by the novelty.
“Remember,” Pyotr tells her as we approach the train. “Three squeezes.”
“One, two, three,” she recites solemnly. “Pyotr is coming.”
“That’s my girl.”
The train car is elegant and private, with plush seats and curtained windows. One of Alexei’s men is already inside, checking the compartment. He nods to his boss.
“All clear.”
Alexei crouches to Kira’s level, and his voice goes surprisingly gentle. “You and I are going to have an adventure, little one. Have you ever been on a train?”
Kira shakes her head.
“I’ll show you how to watch the countryside go by, and when we get to Moscow, my daughter, Sofia, will be waiting to meet you. She has a whole room full of toys she wants to share.”
“Does she have dinosaurs?”
“I believe she does. Several, in fact.”
Kira considers this, her small face scrunched in thought. “What about tea sets? I like tea parties.”
“I’m certain that can be arranged.”
She nods solemnly, apparently satisfied with these terms. “Okay.”
I kneel and gather her into my arms one last time. I hold her so tightly that I’m afraid I might hurt her, but I can’t make myself let go.
“I love you so much, baby. More than anything in the whole world. You know that, right?”
“I know, Mama.” Her small arms wrap around my neck. “I love you, too. All the way to the moon and back.”
“Be good for Aunt Mila. Eat your vegetables. Brush your teeth before bed.” I’m rambling now, saying anything to delay the inevitable. I kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and her chin. “I’ll see you soon. I promise.”
“Pinky promise?”
I hook my finger around hers, the same way Pyotr did. “Pinky promise.”
Alexei lifts her gently and carries her onto the train. She doesn’t cry. She’s being brave, just like I asked her to be. Braver than I am, standing here on this platform with tears running down my face and my heart ripped from my chest.
The train whistle blows. The conductor calls for final boarding. And then the wheels begin to turn, slowly at first, then faster.
Kira appears in the window, her face pressed against the glass. Alexei’s hand rests on her small shoulder. She holds up the coin and squeezes it three times, her lips moving silently.
One. Two. Three.
Pyotr is coming.
I squeeze back, even though she can’t see it. Even though it doesn’t matter. I squeeze until my nails dig into my palms.
And then the train disappears around the bend, and my daughter is gone.
Pyotr’s hand settles over mine. I didn’t realize I was shaking until I feel the warmth of his palm steadying me.
“She’s safe,” he whispers. “Alexei will protect her with his life.”
“I know. I know.”
