After entering the roofed enclosure, I lean the gun around a corner. It is just inside so Tusk won’t recognize it.
I walk up to the great cat lying on the straw inside but facing outside and towards the woods. I kneel in front of Tusk, and I can immediately tell he is drugged.
He lifts his head, and our eyes meet. “Hey, pal,” is all I have as I rub his ears and give him a wink.
I know there is more danger in him lashing out while he’s in pain, but I trust him. Trust him with my life.
I kneel, wet, and I run my hand over his large, dazed head. Tusk growls slow and long and pushes against my hand.
Lying on the straw, I lean in and hold him. The cat’s largeheart pounds against mine, and it reminds me of sleeping next to him in bed.
When we were both young, we did it often. My sister Amanda and I used to take turns with him as a cub. Sleeping on our beds was calming, and I miss it, even now.
I remember back to when our folks said it was time. Time Tusk lived in his own home and outside. Amanda and I protested, and after, all three of us had stayed close, really close.
Today, the numbers would change again.
As I send him on.
Adjusting my position, I get closer to him. We are now basically spooning.
Tusk seems to calm, and I whisper into his soft, pointy ear every few seconds with a “Shhhhh.”
We did the same, at times, when he was young and couldn’t sleep. We figured Tusk had nightmares about losing his mother and seeing her slain.
I want Tusk to feel comfort and love.
Before.
Before…
I hug his warm, soft body as the cold bites into me. I think of all the great times we have had together and all the silly yet fun adventures we’d been on.
As I remember a Christmas when Amanda and I played a trick on him, his body tenses up. He then arches his back in pain. After, he growls loudly and slumps.
The pain must be returning and fast.
As I hold my sick brother, I realize the hours I thought I had would be cut short.
I hold him tight and whisper low into his ear again. I kiss his neck, and he growls in frustration.
As tears fall, I tell him.
I remind him about all the great times we had, and withAmanda. I hope my voice and the energy helps, and somehow, it makes him feel happiness, not pain.
I have nothing else… I have no other cards to play.
As the cold tries to claim my wet body, I cough and pull the old family hip flask from my pocket.
I take a long pull on the dented container, and the heat warms me. Wiping an eye, I hold Tusk closer.
Just a little bit longer.
I settle in, and soon it feels like we have time. Time that I need and time that Tusk needs to live...
Here on earth.
Just when he seems to be breathing calmly, and finally, he is almost asleep, pain wracks his body again.
