“Fine,” I whisper. “I started readingThe Housemaidby Freida McFadden. I want to read the book before watching the movie.”
“You want to spend ten hours getting to the ending instead of two?” Zeb asks with a smile on his face, like he finds myreading habit cute and mystifying. I don’t know if reading might be difficult with one eye, and I don’t want to ask.
“Yes,” I tell him. “The books are better.”
“Hm. Maybe I’ll try a book.”
“You say that like it’s weird.”
“Hard to read when you’re on a bike. Or in the Army.”
I’m sure plenty of people in the army read, but I’m not going to argue with Zeb if he’s taking an interest in my hobby.
“Fair enough.”
Zeb chuckles. “Anything else except reading?”
“Um… I haven’t had time off like this basically my whole life. It feels nice.”
“If you want more time off, we could have a baby.”
“Zeb. You do realize that a baby is a lot of work. Forever.”
“Yes but… you get ten months off if you want. I’m just saying.”
I look at Zeb, dumbfounded, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by his interest in a baby. He’s never hidden the fact that he’s family-oriented and has a relatively strong Christian background. I can’t think of a baby before I make it through my nursing program, but I don’t want to disappoint Zeb.
He kisses the top of my forehead again. My heart thumps nervously.
“It might be better to wait until you’re done with school,” he says. “I know how important your education is to you.”
And just like that, I remember – he’s my person. I don’t have to question Zeb’s interest in my well-being. I don’t have to question himat all.He understands me in ways that I never expected.
“I would appreciate that.”
“Okay,” he says. “I’m going to take a quick shower… But after that, I have plans for you and I today…”
“Plans?”
“A surprise,” Zeb says. “I think you’ll like it.”
I don’t know what Zeb could have in mind, but I let him wander off and take that shower. Knowing what little I do about what Zeb and his club get up to… it’s best that he cleans up first. I refresh my mug of coffee and sit down withThe Housemaidagain. Who did they say Amanda Seyfried would play again? I have loved her ever sinceMean Girls.
Three pages into the book and a fist pounds aggressively on our front door. I assume it’s one of Zeb’s friends trying to stuff back an initial prickle of irritation. I guess I can’t expect perfect manners from those guys… but Isaac and Ethan are the bikers with the most stable residences in Boston and they are definitely old enough to have learnedsomeetiquette. I walk over to the front door and yank it open. The sense of security I built up with my husband got too strong because I had completely forgotten the ghosts of my past still lingering on the streets of Boston.
“Rakeem?”
What the hell is this man doing here? How did he find me? My body responds to seeing him with immediate revulsion and regret. I wonder what I ever saw in him. There’s no point in evenvisuallycomparing him to Zeb. Even with one eye, my husband has a far more handsome face.And a much kinder one, despite his toughness.
“I knew we would find our way back to each other,” Rakeem says, smiling at me like he’s genuinely happy to see me, like he can’t see that his presence is making me nauseous. I never understood what the younger girls at work meant about “getting the ick” until I saw Rakeem standing there with that goofy, pleased with himself smile on his face.
“I… I’m sorry, what are you doing here?”
“I thought we could talk things out.”
I’m married.
“We can’t.”
