I used to think Tylee was my soulmate, now I think she was just the girl next door that I wanted to have because she was Wyatt’s sister, out of reach and off-limits… But maybe this damned woman keeps running because she was never mine in the first place. And I was never meant to be hers.
With those drunken thoughts in my head, I pass into a deep ass sleep that I could only take with liquor. Otherwise, thoughts ofmy kids keep me up all night tossing and turning with worry that only their presence could solve.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Zeb
Iget back late after a hard night. The details are not important and would only land the person hearing them in trouble. I had to get into a little bit of dirty work to help get information about the new biker gang that tried causing problems for us. While Janelle and I did a decent job of disabling the small phalanx that attacked us, we have it on good authority that this pervasive problem extends across every mile of highway and is much bigger than we thought.
I never paid much attention to politics, but the shit with immigration has everybody on edge and something strange started to happen. Disgraced cops, felons, ex-convicts, disgraced corrections officers, and those types of folks began to cluster up. There are solid rumors they are funded by official government channels and intended to act as a paramilitary group operating with even greater secrecy than mainstream immigration enforcement.
It’s about money and control – making sure that the small cabal of bastards who want control over the country can keep all three hundred million in a tight grip. Those gripped by their own hatred are just as torn up by it in the end as their victims, although that might take a long time. You learn those things thehard way when you’re in war. And there was a time when all our fathers and grandfathers remembered the truth – that there’s nothing pretty about killing.
I happen to have the special combination of things that makes killing a little easier for me than the next person, but that doesn’t make it a pathway I would recommend.
To my surprise, once I get back to the guest bedroom we’re sharing in Ruger and Zayna’s place – the room that was Eden’s when Ruger first had her – Janelle is still awake and sitting up on the edge of the bed. I was under the impression that she would be drunk off her ass after spending all night with Zayna Blackwood.
Instead, she’s awake with her dark brown cat eyes fixed on me like she wants to suss out what I’ve been doing all night.
“You didn’t have to stay up.”
“Maybe I was worried about you.”
I chuckle. “I’m the one people have to worry about.”
She gets off the bed – not a good sign for avoiding conflict. I pretend that I don’t notice, as if that could get her to go back to sleep. I’ll try to keep my responses simple and guide Janelle towards easing her mind. I don’t need her involved in any of this.
“Are we in danger?”
She folds her arms, crossing them over her chest and pushing her breasts together. Great. The last thing I need to think about right now is how good her tits look. I’ve survived plenty of torture crossing the highway with her glued to my back avoiding any reaction whatsoever to having this beautiful woman’s form pressed up against mine.
“What makes you ask that question?”
“Answer me,” she insists.
My answer will piss her off, but getting information about tonight out of me won’t be so easy for her. This is the way things have to be if I really want her safe. “No.”
“Who were those men? And that guy’s weird jacket… Whowas that man?”
“A dangerous one.”
“Where were you?”
“Christ, Janelle. Wherever I was, I’m tired. I would very much like to go to bed.”
I respond to her as calmly as possible, but this doesn’t go over very well with Janelle, who seems to desperately want something from me. Fuck if I know what it is. If she wanted to fuck me, she would jump my bones the way it’s been with every other woman who got sick of me and wanted me to get the hint. Instead, she’s just as closed off as I am because we bothknowsomething about her that for some reason she just can’t admit.
She fell into my life by mistake and there’s no way in hell she wants to be here…
“I don’t understand what we’re doing here, Zeb.”
“We’re getting ready for bed.”
My neck tightens. I know what she means, but I don’t want to have this conversation right now. She might not know the night I’ve had, and I want to do my best to protect her from the details that could keep her tossing and turning or land her in deeper trouble. I wish it weren’t so hard for me to admit how I feel about her, but now that I’m looking at her, the emotions swell.
The second I laid eyes on her, I knew what it was. It’s unfortunate that I’m not the kind of man who has the right words for everything. I don’t know exactly how to express the words for what I feel. It seems overly simple to say the same things that anyone else would say to someone they loved. Janelle deserves a better word.
I stare at her, trying to find it. I love her – and I would do anything in my power to protect her. That’s all I know. Maybe saying that word out loud would scare her, or maybe it wouldn’t, but it feels terrifying to have it hanging there between us when she’s still so new to me and still so… jumpy.But it’s the truth – I love Janelle.Desperately. Urgently. More than I’ve ever loved another living being.
