Luna examines the wound, her touch gentle but thorough. "You tore three of the stitches. Probably when you were sitting in that uncomfortable chair for hours instead of resting like I told you to."
"Rachel needed—"
"I know what Rachel needed. And I'm glad you were there for her." Luna starts cleaning the wound, and fuck, it hurts. "But you can't help anyone if you destroy yourself in the process."
"I'm fine."
"You're bleeding, exhausted, and running on fumes. That's not fine." She starts restitching the torn areas, and I focus on the ceiling to avoid watching. "King talked to you about the trauma bonding."
It's not a question.
"Yeah. He thinks I'm getting too attached."
"Are you?"
"I don't know. Maybe." I close my eyes. "All I know is that she trusts me. And I don't want to let her down."
"Shadow." Luna pauses her work, waiting until I look at her. "Caring about someone isn't weakness. Neither is wanting toprotect them or making sure they're okay. Those are good instincts."
"But?"
"But you need to take care of yourself too. Rachel needs you healthy and functional, not running yourself into the ground trying to be her savior." She goes back to stitching. "And you need to be honest with yourself about what you're feeling and why."
"Everyone keeps saying that. Like I have some secret knowledge about my own emotions that I'm hiding."
"Do you?"
Maybe. Probably. I've spent so long not feeling anything beyond coldness that I don't know how to recognize or name what's happening in my chest when I think about Rachel.
Is it just protective instinct? Or something more?
"I promised I'd check on her in the morning," I say instead of answering.
"Then you will. But first you're going to sleep. Doctor's orders." Luna finishes the stitching and starts bandaging. "I'll set an alarm for six hours from now. That'll give you time to rest and still check on Rachel before she wakes up."
"I'm fine to—"
"Shadow." Her voice is firm. "You're no good to Rachel or anyone else if you collapse from exhaustion or infection. Sleep. Now."
She's right, even if I don't want to admit it. My body is screaming for rest, and my mind is too fuzzy to be useful.
"Fine. Six hours."
"Good." She finishes bandaging and steps back. "There's a free room down the hall. Third door on the right. Clean bed, dark and quiet. Get some sleep, and I'll make sure someone wakes you when it's time."
I nod and head for the door, exhaustion making every step an effort.
"Shadow?" Luna calls after me. "For what it's worth, I think Rachel's lucky to have you looking out for her. Just don't forget to look out for yourself too."
I don't know how to respond to that, so I just keep walking.
The room Luna mentioned is small but clean, with a single bed and blackout curtains. I collapse onto it without even taking off my boots, and sleep claims me almost instantly.
But even in sleep, I can't escape the gray eyes and defensive walls of a woman who asked me to stay.
A woman who's becoming more important to me with every passing hour.
And I have no fucking idea what to do about it.
