I grind my teeth, then quickly stop myself when I notice what I’m doing. “Yeah, but I wasn’t thinking about that. I just wanted to toast you, Elle.”
Her cheeks glow red even through her makeup… makeup which serves to enhance her natural beauty rather than override it. “Really?”
“I want to toast your strength, stubbornness, talent, love, and dedication to your sister. I want to toast your sunshine, Sunshine. So… to you!”
She raises her glass.
“You’ve got to say it,” I tell her playfully.
“It feels weird toasting myself.”
“Well, Sunshine, neither of us has ever claimed this is a normal relationship.”
She laughs, nodding. “Fair point.”
We clink glasses. “Is my smile still good?” she asks.
“You look perfect,” I tell her.
She wants to remind you this is a game, killer.
Perhaps I’m bitter because I say, “It’s impressive you can smile when you’re sitting across from a man like me.”
“A man… like you?” she says in confusion.
“A man who’s more suited to digging holes than making small talk on a date.”
She winces, her smile faltering. But her eyes stay fixed on me with brutal honesty. “When he did what he did,” she says, her dark tone not matching the look on her face, “he changed me. He took certain things from me. I don’t want to sound melodramatic, okay. But he changed my soul.”
“Maybe it would be better to heal it than let him break it.”
“Areyoubroken, then?” She challenges, still smiling.
I keep my rictus grin on my face too. From the outside, we must look like a loving couple, happy to be in each other’s company.
“Well?” She challenges.
“Taking lives changes you, beautiful.” I pause before I say my next words. “Maybe you won’t have as much sunshine when this is over.”
“I’ve seen you with Mira,” she replies. “I’ve seen the joy in you. The happiness and fulfillment when you play with her, when you teach her archery. That looks a hell of a lot like sunshine to me, Rhett. Is that all fake?”
“No,” I grunt.
“So it’s possible, then, to do this and still be capable of happiness.”
I shift in my seat. “You’d make a good cop, Elle.”
Her smile reaches her eyes. “Thank you. But none of this feels very date-like, my perfect, loving boyfriend…”
I grin, nodding. “You’re going to have to coach me. I’m not much of a dater.”
She snorts. “And I am? I’ve never even set foot in a place that doesn’t have prices on the menu. And look at these people, Rhett… they’re from a different universe. I’m pretty sure that guy’s in Congress.”
I reach across the table and take her hand. It’s like I need the physical contact to remind myself that some part of this is real.
“You deserve the best,” I tell her.
Even if it’s fake.
