‘Left a bit.’
‘No, it’s right a bit.’
‘It’s not! It’s more to the left.’
Sam put the knife down and looked at the three men around him who were practically dribbling at the sight of the tinned meat roll he was about to share out. ‘Stop crowding me. You’ve given me the job so just let me do it.’
Someone grumbled, another suggested they gave him some more room and the group reluctantly retreated a little. Sam picked up the knife, inhaled deeply and began to slice the processed meat again. Every man’s gaze burned upon his hands. Food had become the highlight of their day and consumed their thoughts until most conversations led back to what theydideat,couldeat,wouldeat if things were different. For now, it was two slices of bread for breakfast and tea, and at noon one ladle of watery potato soup. If it were not for the Red Cross packages, they would have all starved to death long ago. Unfortunately, the latest delivery was smaller than most and four men had to share each package. A great debate onhowit was shared followed, but after a vote it was agreed that the contents of each tin would be shared out as soon as it was opened. The timing of that tin being opened was also voted upon. The prisoner who shared the contents had the power that could start grudges or make the closest of friends. Sam did not relish the role when yet another vote nominated him.
Each prisoner took their portion and returned to their bed to eat it. Only Tubs remained.
‘Don’t vote for me next time,’ said Sam as he wiped the knife clean.
Tubs smiled. ‘What? And let you miss out on all that power?’
‘I’d rather not have it.’
Tubs jerked his plate towards him. ‘To be honest, I was hoping you’d give me a bigger slice.’
Sam glanced up at his friend. ‘You know that would be the end of me, don’t you?’
‘Yes, I know. That’s the reason I wanted a bigger slice.’
‘Charming.’ Sam returned the knife to the guard. ‘Could it be because you’re greedy?’
Tubs feigned hurt. ‘Harsh words. And I thought we were friends.’
Sam broke into a smile. ‘So did I!’
‘Tinned meat can turn a man insane in here. Seriously, though. You did a good job. I wouldn’t want the job of cutting equal portions.’
‘So I can’t vote for you next time?’
‘If you do, I’ll eat your share.’
They sat down together and each stared at his slice. It wasn’t thick but it was a feast in their eyes.
‘This reminds me of home.’ Tubs tentatively touched it with his finger. ‘Although I wish it was cake or one of Mother’s buns. Mother used to do her baking when I was at school. Every Tuesday and Thursday.’ He smiled at the memory. ‘On those days I’d rush home from school, open the door and just stand for a few seconds and inhale the smell of freshly baked buns. Makes me feel warm inside just thinking about it. Home. Mother. Safety. The anticipation of a full belly.’
‘Yeast buns and cold milk,’ mused Sam. ‘That’s what was waiting for me after school. Still warm from the oven.’
‘And then it was time for a game of football on the road outside. By dark there would be about ten of us. And I don’t think there was one boy among us who could kick the ball straight. But it didn’t matter. We had a great laugh. And thethings ten-year-old boys can get up to!’ Tubs whistled. ‘It’s a miracle I didn’t kill myself.’
‘I was climbing trees and making tree houses after school. First met Moira when I was ten. Seems a world away now.’
‘Did you fancy her right away?’
‘She was the first girl who really spoke to me. In that interested kind of way. She suddenly appeared in class one day and immediately stood out from us rural kids. Clever. Nicely dressed. Fresh faced. She told the class that her family came from Kent. None of us knew where Kent was but it didn’t matter. She settled in quickly but her parents never did. They often talked about leaving Cornwall and returning to Kent. The threat that she would one day leave the school, and me, was always there.’
‘Well? Did you?’
‘What? Fancy her from the start?’ Sam thought for a moment and smiled. ‘I was too much in shock. All I remember was thinkinga girl is talking to meand it scared the heck out of me. But yes, I fancied her from the first day I saw her.’
Tubs gave him a conciliatory pat on the back. ‘It’s not easy being a boy.’
‘It’s not easy being a man.’
They stared at their thin slice of meat in silence.
