She had heard similar words of sympathy many times over the years, but it was his knowing gaze that brought tears to her eyes. He had once confided that he had seen one of the death camps and it still gave him nightmares.
‘I have told her that her family died in the war, but the true horror I will leave until she is older. She deserves a childhood. She waited long enough for one.’
‘Very wise.’
‘Will that be all?’
The colonel nodded. She stood up to leave.
‘Elsa, is there any way I can helpyou? You are always doing your best to make those around you better, but perhaps I could use my contacts to help you.’
Elsa placed her notepad and pen into her bag as her mind raced. If she had any extended family still living, she did not want to see them. She had lost contact with them when she left for Gollnow all those years ago and had no way of knowing how they would judge her now. Her life was stable after years of uncertainty and fear. She had no desire to change it. She thought of Sam and her fingers began to tremble.
‘Elsa?’
She glanced up at him. The colonel could use his contacts to find Sam. It would be so easy to ask. She would find out if he’d survived the war. She would be able to... She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Instead images of him receiving a letter from her flashed through her mind. A letter that could stir up torturous memories he would rather forget, turn his settled life upside down or revive the obligation to fulfil a promise he had made many years ago. If he’d survived, he could be married with a family of his own. She did not want to burden him with promises and obligations.
She shook her head. ‘Thank you. But I can’t think of anything at the moment.’ She looked away, unable to witness his obvious disappointment that she had declined. ‘I should go.’
He stood too. ‘I will let you know about the meal after I’ve spoken to my wife. I might be in charge of Hamburg, but it is Lydia who is in charge at home. Bring your entourage too.’
Elsa smiled. ‘Both?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘You have been so kind to me since your arrival. So understanding. We will look forward to it.’ She left the room before he could say any more.
Elsa stepped outside and looked up into the sky. A blanket of white, grey-edged clouds hung heavy in the damp, chilly air that caressed her skin. She finished buttoning up her coat and walked briskly along the pavement, which bustled with pedestrians. They appeared smartly dressed but if one took the time to look closely, one would be able to see the frayed edges of their garments and worn soles of their shoes. However, despite Hamburg being all but demolished in the heavy bombing raids, it had been quick to rebuild and now, only six years after the end of the war, cars, three-wheeled delivery trikes and small lorries scrambled for space on the worn road.
A red-and-cream tram appeared. As it paused momentarily, Elsa quickly embarked, paid her fare and settled down next to a man wearing a trilby and reading a newspaper. She was lucky to have a seat, for the trams in Hamburg were always full. This normality lived alongside the reminders of war. Large, tall office buildings and shops neighboured swathes of vacant plots where rubble had been cleared or where skeletons of damaged buildings waited forlornly for demolition.
As always, when she found herself with some valuable solitude, albeit on a crowded tram, her mind filled with the handsome man with brown eyes she had come to know so well over a short space of time. As she stared out of the tram window at the city of Hamburg, she wondered what Sam was doing now. Was he married? Did he have a son that looked like him?
When the tram stopped, she placed his memories back into the locked, sacred space of her mind to wait for another moment of solitude where she could revisit them again — like the precious, comforting friends they had come to be.
Chapter Twenty-Six
‘She’s been found!’
Sam’s knees weakened like an old man’s at the news. Ben and Helene helped him inside his house so he could sit down. They had arrived unexpectedly at his door with beaming smiles, yet he had not dared to hope it could be news of her.
‘Are you sure it’s my Elsa?’
Ben nodded. ‘As sure as we can be.’
‘How is she? Where is she?’
‘I received this letter from Jim this morning.’
‘Your friend who works at the British Red Cross?’
‘Yes,’ said Helene, taking the letter from his hands and unfolding it for him. She pointed to the typed words. ‘It’s official. Elsa Kalbach works as a translator in Hamburg.’
‘A translator? Hamburg?’
‘Jim says she’s an interpreter and works with our military to help improve relations.’
Sam’s raised hopes began to fade. ‘It probably isn’t her. She has no reason to be in Hamburg. The only family she has is in Bremen.’
