‘What man?’ She sounded almost emotionless as she spoke.
The woman tilted her head as if weighing up her response. ‘He didn’t tell us his name.’
‘Oh.’
‘You don’t seem interested that a man brought you here.’
‘I don’t remember him.’
‘Not at all?’
Elsa shook her head.
‘I suppose he must have found you.’
Elsa placed the glass on the bedside table. Her lips had left a faded kiss on the rim.
‘Where is the man now?’ she dared to ask. ‘I should like to thank him.’
The woman walked to the door as Elsa’s stomach churned with treachery and fear.
‘He left.’
Sam had left — he had not beentaken away. He had notrun off. He hadleftof his own accord.
Elsa battled to keep the ring of hope from her voice. ‘Did he say anything?’
The woman paused with her hand on the knob. She turned and stared at her. ‘What did you want him to say?’
Elsa reached for her glass again and drank more water to give her time to think. It felt as if they were playing the same game — skirting around the truth that might land one or both of them in trouble. If he had left of his own accord this woman had allowed him to go. Either she didn’t know he was British or she was as guilty as Elsa.
‘I’d like to know where he found me, or how. I have walked so far. I was robbed and had no money for the train.’
‘There aren’t many trains.’
‘The last thing I remember is catching a lift with some soldiers. They dropped me off in a village. There was a lot of confusion. Trucks everywhere. Panic, even. One of the soldiers was ill. I must have caught something off him.’ She fell silent and watched the woman over the rim of the glass. She had spoken far too much and too quickly but it was the truth and hopefully the woman would hear and accept that. She drank deeply to calm herself. Suddenly the woman picked up Elsa’s coat and threw it onto the bed. Her quick action made Elsa jump.
‘We don’t have much food to share, but you can stay for as long as you like. I will need your stamps.’
Elsa nodded, placed her glass on the side table and retrieved her ration book from her jacket. She offered it to her.
The woman looked through her book and raised an eyebrow when she saw that no stamps had been used in the last few weeks.
‘I had no money to buy food. I was robbed.’
If the woman had doubted her story before, the ration book dispelled any lingering concerns. No sane person would not use their food stamps.
She read Elsa’s name on the cover. ‘So you are called Elsa.’ She pocketed the ration book and carried her sewing basket back to the door. ‘I’m Gertrude.’ She paused in the doorway. ‘Your saviour said very little. He seemed worried about you, but he’s gone now. I don’t think he will be back.’ The woman hadn’t needed to offer this information, but it was gratefully, albeit silently, received. Elsa waited for the door to close before she lay back on the soft pillow to listen to the woman’s footsteps descending the stairs. Soon an exchange of hushed voices — Gertrude’s and a man’s — filtered through the floorboards. The words were so muted that they made little sense, leaving Elsa still ignorant to whether they knew the truth about Sam and Klara. If they did it would mean that they too had cooperated with the enemy. Retaliation would be swift and without mercy if they were found out. Compassion would be no defence. It was best for all not to question the other further for fear where it might lead. If the rise of the Third Reich had taught them anything, it was to fear your neighbours, as not everyone thought the same as you.
* * *
Elsa remained in the bedroom for another two days. Whenever Gertrude entered the room she was in bed; when left alone she crept to the window in the hope of seeing Sam’s solitary figure in the distance patiently waiting for her strength to return. Each time she returned to her bed, disappointed and weighed down with childish feelings of rejection and abandonment. He wouldn’t leave without her, would he? He wouldn’t abandon Klara. Did he fully understand how badly Jews had been treated in Germany in recent years? No! Sam would do the right thing. She could rely on him.
Yet, as one day turned into two, she began to doubt. Sam had told her he would be able to travel faster and find shelter moreeasily without a woman and child. He would also only have to forage for food for himself.
She knew Sam would not leave Klara alone. He wasn’t cruel. He would leave her with someone. Klara might even be better off being looked after in a house. After all, a long journey on foot was gruelling. Who would harm a child if she was left in front of a school or a church? Perhaps Elsa should have done that. Was she cruel to have expected her to walk so far?
And if Klara was better off without Sam and Elsa, wasn’t it true that Elsa was better off without Sam? Collaboration with the enemy meant death. She could beg Gertrude for a train ticket, any train ticket, to Bremen. She’d see her family sooner instead of hiding in barns and digging up vegetables for food. She would make herself forget about the British prisoner of war. Her brother had died fighting men like him. She resolved to go to sleep pretending her tears were for her brother, her grandfather and Klara, not for a man she barely knew. Yet she failed, because the pain in her heart reminded her that she was not yet ready to never see his face again.
