‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ She packed what was left into her bag, stood up and encouraged Klara to do the same. ‘The stories they tell are too terrible. I don’t want Klara to pick up on it.’ She touched Klara’s cheek and smiled sadly at her. ‘I just want to get to Bremen and see my family again.’
Sam got up too. ‘No soldier would r—’
‘Tell that to the Red Army,’ snapped Elsa. She relented. ‘I’m sorry. Let’s not talk about the war any more. We are on different sides. What is bad news for me is good news for you.’
‘That is not always the case.’
She hesitated. ‘That is easy to say when you think you might be winning.’
They continued their journey westwards in silence. The temperature had risen, causing the many snowdrifts to thaw. A bounty of scattered, abandoned belongings and dead bodies had been revealed, which they sombrely searched for food, money and clothing that could mean the difference between life anddeath. For the first time in days, they were able to enter a village and buy provisions for their journey.
Once again Elsa left Klara with Sam as she entered one of the stores. While she was inside, a low rumble of engines warned him that a large number of military vehicles were fast approaching. He took Klara’s hand, retreated down a side street and watched their arrival as they filled the village square with diesel fumes and noise. Elsa emerged from the shop to find herself in the midst of the spectacle and surrounded by German soldiers. Sam pulled his cap down low and turned his collar up high. He crouched before Klara, smiled at her and lifted her into his arms. Remarkable child that she was, she allowed him to play at being a doting father, uncle, anyone that knew her well and made him less conspicuous. He watched Elsa as she looked about her. Her serious expression changed to one of hope when she realized the soldiers were not wounded. His stomach twisted in pain as he saw the same sweet smile she had aimed at him shown to the German soldiers.
After some discussion between officers, the soldiers prepared to move off again, heading towards the Eastern Front. Elsa attempted to speak to one of the drivers, but he ignored her, revved his engine and drove away, forcing her to step back. She attempted again and again, going from truck to truck in her desperate search for information. Finally, she gave up and crossed the road to find him. Sam braced himself as she approached, determined to not feel moved by her hopeful expression.
She turned away from him and waved the last truck off.
‘Their heart isn’t in it any more,’ he murmured. ‘They know they are losing.’
‘They are still fighting, aren’t they? Why would the generals send them to fight if we have lost?’
Sam pushed himself away from the wall he had been leaning on and gently lowered Klara to the ground. ‘That’s what I’d like to know.’ It was the first time he had come close to challenging her about her country’s actions. ‘Perhaps you should join them. They will need nurses to tend to their wounds when they are shot.’
She looked at him. ‘Do you want me to go with them?’
‘I don’t care what you do. As you said, we are on different sides.’
He saw his words hurt her as plainly as if he had slapped her in the face. He felt sick but he resisted the urge to apologize. He walked past her and out into the road hating himself, hating all Germans, hating the world. Witnessing the hope in her eyes that German soldiers might still defeat the Allies had shocked him, but of course that was where her loyalties lay. It should not be a surprise, he scolded himself. After all, she was German. Yet, when he heard her footsteps following behind, he was still glad to hear them.
They did not speak again until they were outside of the village and it was safe to do so. Elsa drew level with him. ‘Did you want me to go with them?’
‘What you do is not my concern. I just want this war to end.’ He threw her a barbed glance. ‘Whereas you want the fighting to continue.’
‘I want the war to end too.’
He glanced at her again. She seemed sincere. ‘Well, that makes two of us.’
‘Don’t be angry with me, Sam.’ It was the first time she had called him by his name and it moved him more than it should have. His steps slowed.
‘I am German. I can’t change my nationality.’
‘I never asked you to.’
‘Those soldiers are my people. They are all I have.’
He stopped. ‘Some of them were just boys, Elsa. If you support an army that calls up children to fight, it makes a mockery of the grief you felt for those dead children earlier. A few more years and they would have been on the front line with a gun in their hands.’
Tears sprang to her eyes.
‘Germany is losing, Elsa.’ He lifted Klara again and marched off.
‘I know.’ Elsa followed, trying to match his long strides. ‘But I’m afraid.’
‘Of the war ending?’
‘Of what happens next.’ She roughly wiped her face with her sleeve. ‘What revenge will be taken? Let’s not speak of the war again.’
He stopped to look at her. ‘Is that possible?’
