‘No, but I will be. Just take me home.’
Nicholas shut the door, went around to the front of the car and started the engine. It spluttered into life and settled into a noisy purr.
He climbed in beside her. ‘I thought you needed to know.’
She attempted a nod, but even that felt difficult to do. She just wanted to be away from here. She wanted to start again.
‘I don’t like to see you like this. Speak to me, Rose. This is tearing me apart.’
Rose looked at him for the first time. The concern in his eyes was too much to bear. It would be easier to say goodbye to him if she could hold on to her anger. She turned her attention to the road ahead.
‘Please . . . just take me home.’
Nicholas drove the car onto the road and headed towards Wadebridge. He seemed to sense her need for silence, as hedid not speak again until he pulled up outside her house. The afternoon was drawing to an early close, as dusk had arrived, creeping in silently, yet appearing suddenly as it so often did.
‘May I call on you tomorrow?’ asked Nicholas as he opened the car door for her. Even now, after all that had happened, they were still playing the etiquette game as if it really mattered.When life is uncertain, doing something that makes us feel normal gives us hope.
Rose got out. ‘I need some time alone.’
‘I understand.’ He caught the crook of her arm as she was about to walk to the door. ‘My leave comes to an end soon. I'll be gone in two days.’
She should have known that he would not be around forever, yet his sudden announcement still took her by surprise. ‘I thought you were here for Christmas?’
‘I wish I was. My attempt at bringing you Christmas has fallen short on all accounts, but I’ve loved every minute of it, Rose. I know you don’t believe it, but it was real for me.’
His sincerity brought a flood of memories back to her that she could not ignore. The splendid cathedral, the adorable nativity play, Saint Nick rolling up with a belly laugh that made her feel like an excited child all over again. Nicholas battling with the fir tree as he tried to manoeuvre it through her shop door and those precious moments when they became tipsy over glasses of mulled wine as the golden light of candles danced in their eyes.
‘You did bring me the Christmas I asked for.’ She manoeuvred her arm from his grasp. ‘Goodbye, Nicholas.’ She offered her hand so he could shake it. They were no more than acquaintances, meeting briefly due to having a mutual friend — nothing more.
Nicholas reached for her hand, but drew her towards him instead, his gaze searching hers as their misty breaths mingled in the air between them.
‘I don’t want the day to end like this.’ He frowned; his fingers tightened slightly when she did not reply and would not look at him. He finally let her hand go, stepped back and shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘I’m not going to shake your hand as if this is the end and we have felt nothing at all for each other. I’d better go, before I do what I really want to do. I don’t think it is what you need or want right now.’
He spun on his heels and walked briskly round to the other side of the car. He looked troubled and, despite everything, she didn’t like to see him like that.
‘What did you want to do?’
Nicholas’s jaw tightened as he opened the car door. ‘I am leaving on Friday. I will visit you on my way to the station to say goodbye.’
‘What did you want to do, Nicholas?’ she repeated.
‘Kiss you breathless, then tell the army to go to hell,’ he said, before getting in and driving away.
Chapter Twelve
Rose watched Nicholas until his car was out of sight. It would be good to have some distance between them. He had come into her life and turned it upside down. Time apart would give her the respite she needed to put her world back in order. He had listened and comforted her in her bereavement, knowing the man she grieved for was still alive. He had lied to her. She understood his reason for doing it and she was thankful he did not let the lie continue, but the fact remained that he had still lied to her, from the moment he walked through her tea shop door. How could she trust him again? Did she want to try? At the moment she felt she did not. She would tell him on Friday that she didn’t want him to visit her again when he was home on leave. She already felt stronger as she mounted the step to her front door and entered her home.
Her parents’ cluttered house greeted her and was a stark reminder of the realities of her life. Her mother’s complaining voice reached her from the back of the house.
‘Where have you been? I expected you home hours ago. Did you get some rabbit from butcher Hicks?’
Rose took off her hat as she navigated the stairs. ‘You didn’t ask me to.’
‘Why do I have to ask? Do I have to tell you what to do all of the time?’
Her mother’s voice faded as she shut her bedroom door behind her. She looked about her room. It was neat compared to the rest of the house, yet she felt stifled by it. She opened her wardrobe and pulled out a bag. It was too small for her needs, but as she didn’t own a suitcase it would have to do. She could use pillowcases to carry the rest of her clothes. A couple of trips and all her belongings would be moved. Within minutes she wascarrying the packed bag down the stairs. Her mother had heard her footsteps and met her at the bottom.
‘What’s going on here?’ she asked, staring at the bag clasped in her hand.
