‘Why?’
‘I wanted to give her the Christmas she deserved, as you asked me to do.’
‘Oh that . . .’ Sam frowned as he remembered. His fingers trembled slightly as he looked at his cigarette.
Nicholas grew concerned. He had not considered that reminding Sam of the war might trigger a relapse. Nicholas continued brightly, hoping to divert Sam’s thoughts from the trenches that probably now filled his head. ‘I couldn’t last year, I wasn’t on leave.’
Sam’s brows pinched in concern. ‘How is she?’
Nicholas realised his mistake. It was not a relapse he should be concerned about, but Sam’s feelings for Rose.
‘She is still grieving for you,’ he replied quietly as he studied his friend’s expression.
Sam inhaled deeply on his cigarette before blowing it out forcefully through pursed lips. ‘She shouldn’t.’
‘That is hard to do when there was no time to say goodbye.’
Sam flicked the ash in an old clay pot, with a rapid tap of his finger. ‘Time is a healer.’
‘She has waited long enough.’
‘What do you expect me to do about it? The Sam she knew is dead. I have a new life now. I gave up my chances with Rose long ago. We were young and thought the world was ours. I’m not the man she fell in love with and she is not the woman I want now.’
‘She is the woman I want.’ Nicholas watched his friend’s reaction, but saw none. Did he understand what he had just said? ‘I love her, Sam. I know it sounds foolish as we only met a few weeks ago, but—’
‘You don’t waste time.’
‘I did not plan it.’
Sam harrumphed. ‘Does she love you?’
‘I believe she could if she wasn’t still grieving for you.’
Sam inhaled deeply on his cigarette. ‘I’m flattered that she still thinks of me at all.’
Nicholas’s jaw tightened at his friend’s flippant remark. Sam noticed and lowered his gaze to the floor. He removed a shred of tobacco from the tip of his tongue and wiped it on his leg.
‘I’m sorry. It’s been a while since I’ve dared to think of her, so I have no right to act the jilted lover now. I should be happy that she is on the verge of falling in love again.’ He looked up at Nicholas. ‘And I should be glad it’s with you.’
‘I have fallen for her. She is more resistant to the idea.’
‘Why? Because she still grieves for me?’
‘Yes, but she is also angry with me. I used her poem as inspiration to try and give her the Christmas she deserved. She realised and feels it was not sincerely meant. She thinks I have played a cruel joke on her.’
‘And now you’re feeling the wrath of a woman?’
Nicholas fingered his collar. ‘Indeed I am.’
‘Feeling caught in the crossfire from all sides and not knowing what to do next?’
‘Sort of.’
Nicholas wanted to shout,I want you to tell her that you’re alive so she can stop grieving. I want you to tell her that I was carrying out your request. God help me . . . I want your blessing, Sam.But he didn’t.
‘I am sure you will find a way out,’ said Sam.
Their gazes locked. Nicholas realised he had been a fool to come here. Sam would be risking being shot for desertion. It was too much to ask of him.
