‘Do you feel that you have betrayed him?’ he asked.
‘I do, but it was not to hurt him.’
‘Then why did you?’
‘To save him from unnecessary hurt. If I had told him and it turned out I was wrong, I would have placed doubt in his mind about his business partner, which was a relationship that had worked well until now. And later, if I had told him about Amelia’s part in it, I would have betrayed Amelia.’
‘So you did it with the best intentions?’
Grace nodded. Her father looked at her.
‘Then why are you hurting so much?’
Grace blinked. ‘I don’t understand?’
‘You did what you did because at the time you felt it was the right thing to do. So why are you so upset?’
‘Because . . . I have hurt him. Because I cannot bear the thought that he thinks so badly of me. Because he loved me and wanted to marry me and I have ruined everything.’
‘But part of the reason he thinks badly of you is because he does not know the whole truth . . . that you didn’t tell him because his sister begged you not to.’
‘I can’t tell him that Amelia knew. I promised her I wouldn’t.’
‘But at least he will know the truth.’
‘No. I won’t come between a brother and sister.’
‘You are already. Amelia placed you there.’
Grace picked a flower and turned its bud in her hand. The yellow blunt petals splayed out in a desperate bid to catch the sun.
‘I won’t break my promise to Amelia,’ said Grace.
Her father opened the gate and they walked through, turning to lean upon it after he had fastened it.
‘Talek doesn’t know Henry also threatened to expose the real reason you left your family. Why didn’t you tell him yourself? Henry would not have had a hold over you if you had told Talek.’
‘I left here because I couldn’t bear people looking at me and knowing how I came into this world. It was not something I wanted Talek and Amelia to know.’
‘I thought telling the truth was important to you. It is the reason you ran away from us, because we had not.’
‘I was angry . . . confused . . . lost . . .’ She stared at the weathered wood beneath her fingers. Faded, cracked and gnarled, she wondered how many conversations it hadoverheard over the years. What tales it could tell if it could only talk.
‘I’m sorry.’
Grace looked up, surprised by her father’s apology. Although it was what she had longed to hear several months ago, it was not why she had returned home now. Her father selected a blade of grass and ran it between his fingers.
‘We thought it was best not to tell you that I was not your real father. I love you as much as if you were mine. I feel it in here . . .’ he touched his chest with the side of his fist ‘. . . but if we had been truthful you would not have had to experience the pain of learning the truth.’
Grace threaded her arm through his and leant her head against his shoulder.
‘We kept it secret for the best intentions.’
‘You did not want me to feel different from my sisters and brother.’
‘Yes. But that was not the only reason. My pride, weakness and love all played a part. When I met your mother, I finally understood what it meant to love someone so much that to lose them would feel like being torn apart.’ He smiled to himself. ‘But to have your mother I had to accept you. I had little choice in the matter. So call it pride, or my weakness for your mother, but I agreed as long as people were led to believe that you were mine.’ He kissed the top of her head. ‘But I quickly discovered that if anyone threatened to take either of you from me, I would have been the one doing the tearing. The lie was easy and soon we came to believe it.’
‘Do you look at me and see him?’
