“Oh, Emma.” Mama’s eyes filled with tears. “Being a Christian has so much more to do with love than rules. As people, we’re given easily to sin. Doing the wrong thing comes far more naturally. But sin only leads to sorrow, and it forever separates us from God.”
“But if heaven is like church, then I don’t wanna go.” She was surprised by her own declaration. But now that it was said, she could hardly take it back. It was the truth of how she felt. What good was an eternity of sitting around singing mournful hymns that spoke of how terrible she was for her sins?
Mama shook her head, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. “Emma, I wish you could understand the goodness of God. The love He has for each of us. He loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die in our place. Our sins are worthy of death, but Jesus took the debt and paid it with His life. He’s giving you a free gift—a chance to be forgiven—and all you have to do is accept Him as Lord.”
“And stop having fun, right?” Emma shrugged. “Doesn’t sound like much of a gift to me.”
Emma regretted her words. She saw the pain she’d caused her mother and almost took them back. Almost.
She really had tried her best to understand and believe the things her folks believed, but it was just too hard. God wanted too much from her.
1
DALLAS, TEXAS—JANUARY31, 1889
It was a surprisingly warm day for the end of January in Texas. Emma stood dressed in her expensive white Worth wedding gown and waited for the minister to declare that she and Tommy Benton were husband and wife.
Tommy grinned at her, then made a face of boredom, and Emma nearly laughed out loud. At twenty-seven, she supposed that they should take their wedding day with a degree more seriousness. But that wasn’t her nature. Life should be one good time followed by another. At least, that was how she’d always seen it—and lived it.
Nine years ago, when the chance to leave Cheyenne for her married sister’s ranch in Texas came up, Emma had jumped at it. Some folks in Cheyenne weren’t overly fond of her. There were quite a few who’d had their toes stepped on by Emma, and some who bore worse than that. Leaving the area was the perfect solution after breaking her engagement to a local boy in order to take up with another man—a man who soon afterward deserted her. It gave her an easy way to avoid all the folks who thought her worthless and difficult.
Besides, her sister, Clara, wasn’t overly demanding. Sheneeded help with her children, and the children enjoyed having fun. Emma was just the right person for rowdy games and horse races. As the children grew up and attended school, Emma had more free time. This allowed her to escape the boredom of the ranch and do what she wanted to do. Clara was usually far too busy with her responsibilities to worry about monitoring her little sister’s actions.
Emma did just enough to satisfy Clara and give her the relief she needed, and in turn Clara kept her mouth shut when Emma took off on one of her escapades. It was a good arrangement, one that had allowed her to meet Thomas Benton, the youngest of four wealthy Benton brothers, the previous January.
Tommy was sweet—more boy than man. He loved having fun just as much as Emma. He agreed with her philosophy of there being plenty of time to focus on religion when old age was upon them. Youth was supposed to be spent exploring options and opportunities. It was no wonder most adults were sullen and serious all the time. And many were still all bound up by religious rules from the minute they struck out on their own. Emma considered herself lucky to have figured out that such things were a waste of time.
She glanced sideways and saw her father and stepmother. They didn’t look all that happy. Goodness, she’d maintained her purity and given them a church wedding, they should be delighted, especially after years of worrying about her moral standings. Her father and mother had never accounted for Emma having her own standards—standards that she had refused to yield on no matter how persuasive Tommy had been. That was the reason for the wedding. Emma might love a life free of rules and regulations, but when it came to the physical aspects of love, she was quite guarded. She’d heard far too many horror stories about women who allowed themselves to be compromised.Then, too, she had to look no further than her sister to see what a life of marriage and motherhood did to a woman’s spirit. Clara said she was happy, but, goodness, she never got to do much of anything but see to household duties and child care. Frankly, Emma hoped she never had children.
Tommy didn’t care about having them either. He said maybe later, in another ten years or so. Maybe by then Emma would be ready for them as well. Still, being married would put them at risk of that coming sooner rather than later. It was the only real reason Emma had hesitated when Tommy begged her to marry him.
Tommy was saying something, so Emma turned her attention back to the wedding. With the heat, she just wished they’d conclude with the ceremony. Worth gowns were beautiful creations, and this one was no exception, but it was hot, and a simple cotton dress would have suited her better.
Tommy took hold of her hand. “With this ring, I thee wed. With my body, I thee worship. With all my worldly goods, I thee endow. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.” Tommy slipped the ring on her finger.
Emma was impressed with the ring they’d chosen. Tommy had insisted on sparing no expense, and given that he’d inherited a hefty sum of money the previous year, he could afford the best. Diamonds and sapphires set against gold. She’d never owned anything like it, and Tommy had given her plenty of jewelry. One thing about Tommy, he was more than generous with his money. Emma glanced up and met his gaze. This marriage was going to be a happy one. They were good at finding things to do, and marriage would open up even more doors to good times.
The minister, an ancient old man who headed up a church Emma and Tommy didn’t attend but had given a large titheto, pronounced them husband and wife. Tommy pulled her into his arms and kissed her soundly.
“Well, I’m glad to know that you can keep your word to someone,” a feminine voice called out.
Tommy pulled away, and Emma turned to see who was speaking. A woman gowned in black with a heavy veil moved down the aisle toward them. Emma looked at Tommy, who had gone as white as a ghost.
The woman lifted her veil and smiled. “I don’t suppose you expected to see me today, did you now, Tommy?”
“Stella.” He barely whispered her name.
“That’s right. Stella.” The petite blond woman looked at him for a long moment, then turned to Emma. “Did he tell you he’d love you forever? Sweet talk you into doing things you swore you’d never do? Did you lose your innocence to him and then find yourself in a bad way?”
“Young woman, this is the House of God,” the minister protested.
“Well, that’s why I’m here.” She turned back to Tommy. “You took my innocence, all while promising to marry me. Now I’m carrying your baby, and you’ve married another.”
Emma wanted to do something ... anything, but found herself frozen in place. Tommy turned back to her with a sad look of regret.
“It’d be best for all concerned if we just ended this family here and now.”
Confused by Stella’s statement, Emma looked back to her. Somehow, the young woman had produced a revolver and now aimed it at Tommy’s head.
