“I didn’t know it meant that much. I didn’t know he wanted to die.” Colton shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.
They fell silent for several long minutes. Colton could hear the tick of the mantel clock and knew he should probably end this conversation and go about his business. But he didn’t want to leave Emma’s company. Here in the quiet of her house, he felt comfortable enough to just be himself and speak his mind. Perhaps in time, he’d feel capable of telling Emma about his true feelings for her.
“Why didn’t you want Tommy to marry me?”
Her question surprised him. He could hardly tell her the truth. Would she even believe him if he told her that he didn’t want Tommy to marry her because he wanted to do the deed himself?
“To be quite honest, Tommy was so immature that I feared he’d make a poor husband and father. He was very self-centered in his thinking and actions. I knew he wouldn’ttake marriage seriously and that you would get hurt in the long run.”
Emma showed no surprise at his comments. “He was never serious for long. He enjoyed himself too much to linger on obligations.”
“Exactly. And a husband cannot be that way. He must always consider the needs of his wife and family. Marriage changes everything.”
“How odd you should say so since you’ve never been married.”
Colton shrugged. “But my other brothers married, and a good many friends did as well. I watched carefully how it changed their lives. Taking on the responsibility of a wife and home is one that needs serious attention.”
“Do you suppose you’ll ever marry?”
The longing to tell her how he felt was like nothing he’d ever known before. He studied her for a moment, losing himself in her dark-eyed gaze. He was forty years old and had only financial prosperity to show for his days on earth. Many men would find that to be enough, but Colton wanted more.... He wanted Emma.
“I hope so,” he finally answered.
Emma smiled. “Then perhaps you’ll find someone here in Cheyenne.”
His nerves were about to get the best of him. He got to his feet in an abrupt fashion. “Maybe I will, but it won’t happen sitting at the table.” He forced a chuckle, lest she think she’d upset him. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave.”
“Will you be back for lunch?” Emma, too, got to her feet.
“No, probably not. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you at dinner. And you needn’t walk me out.”
He left her there and hurried to the front door, where he took up his hat and coat. Colton didn’t even pause to put them on but left the house for fear he might say somethinghe’d regret. He hadn’t told Rosie good-bye and hoped she wouldn’t be upset with him.
His insides were churning by the time he reached the bank. How was it possible that one woman could make him feel so overcome with emotions? He’d never been the type to lose himself in feelings, yet every time he was near Emma, Colton was like a schoolboy. Uncertain and confused by the sensation of love and desire that had never before been an issue. If he’d been a praying man, he might have sought divine direction, but as it was, he’d never had cause to lean in such a manner. So as usual, he’d have to face this on his own.
Emma’s nerves were getting the best of her when she and Rosie joined the other women for tea at Marybeth Vogel’s house. Marybeth introduced her.
“Ladies, this is Emma Johnson Benton and her sister-in-law, Rosie Benton.” Marybeth moved to an older woman who looked to be in her sixties. “This is Faith Cooper, but I’m sure you remember her.”
Emma indeed remembered Mrs. Cooper. She owned the boardinghouse where Colton was staying. Mrs. Cooper also attended the church Emma had grown up in.
“And this is Melody Decker,” Marybeth continued.
“I remember you well, Emma.”
Emma smiled. “I hope the memories aren’t too terrible, Mrs. Decker. I was incorrigible as a child.”
Melody laughed and shook her head. “Goodness, you were no worse than any other child. I have ten children now, ranging in age from nearly twenty to only four. I am very familiar with childish nonsense. They’ve all pulled some hilarious and not-so-hilarious pranks, and some have crossed lines thatgrieved me deeply. However, I believe in giving everyone grace.”
“That’s kind and greatly appreciated. I have a feeling I owe more apologies around here than I’ll ever know.”
“Goodness, Emma, I don’t think anyone holds anything against you,” Marybeth Vogel added. Her daughter joined them just then, bringing a tea cart full of goodies. “Of course, you know my daughter, Greta.”
Emma thought the young lady was the spitting image of her mother. “Yes. Good to see you again.”
“Hello,” Rosie added, getting up to go to Greta. “May I help you?”
“Oh no, you’re our guest. I will serve you.” Greta took up the first of two teapots. “Would you like a cup?”
