She looked up at him and nodded before burying her face against his coat. Nothing about an unexpected death was easy. He held Rosie close and let her cry, but holding her only served to remind him of Emma. If she could have attended the service, it might be her Colton held. He pushed the thought aside in disgust. How could he stand at his brother’s grave and covet his widow? Yet here he was. He couldn’t help himself. The pain of Tommy’s death only served to make him want Emma all the more. He had loved her in silence for an entire year, and he would go on loving her.
At least they’d convinced her to come live at the house. She could heal there and be close to Tommy’s memory. Hopefully Colton could convince her to stick around long after that by reminding her of how much she benefited Rosie. No one could deny the changes Emma had brought about in their sister.
In a matter of minutes, the funeral was concluded, and they were heading back to their buggies. Emma’s father and stepmother caught up with Colton and Rosie and once again offered their condolences.
“I’m truly sorry for your loss,” Rich Johnson said, extending his hand.
Colton shook hands. “Thank you. I’m glad you could be here to represent Emma. I felt bad that we couldn’t delay the funeral.”
“It’s understandable.”
“Emma’s going to live with us,” Rosie declared, pushing back the veil that continued to blow across her face.
Rich nodded and fixed Colton with a look. He wasn’t quite disapproving, but he looked none too happy. “I know she can’t travel yet, but I hope if she wants to return to Cheyenne that you’ll do everything in your power to help her.”
“I will, of course.” If it comforted the older man to think that Emma would return to the Wyoming Territory, then what of it? Though in time, Colton hoped to convince her that Dallas was the best place for her now that she owned a majority in the family railroad. With her living under his roof, Colton intended to guide her in their plans for the future. Perhaps even convince her that she should love again.
“I’m so glad to be out of the hospital,” Emma told her sister and stepmother as they helped her settle in at the Benton house. “It’s a huge house, as you can see, but so amply furnished. Tommy even purchased a brand-new bed for us. The mattress came all the way from the East Coast and has springs inside. I am looking forward to giving it a try. Tommy said it was amazing.”
Rose strained to listen to their conversation from the open bedroom door. She had thought about joining them but didn’t know if that was polite. There were so many rules for interacting in the company of others.
“I hope you’ll consider coming back to the ranch to live.”This came from Emma’s stepmother. “You know you will always be welcome there.”
“Thank you, Lucille. I appreciate that.” Rose braved a peek and watched as Emma embraced her stepmother. “Thank you for everything.”
“I hope we can be close,” Lucille replied. “I have missed your mother so much. It would be like having a bit of her in my life to have you back in Cheyenne.” She pulled back and looked at Clara. “Both of you were so precious to her. She prayed for you constantly. Your brother too. You were her entire world. You and your father. Just as Frank and my children were to me. But we had such a special arrangement in our little part of the territory. Your family and mine and the Hamiltons. How blessed we were to share those friendships.”
“I have considered coming back to Cheyenne,” Emma said, surprising Rosie. “I thought maybe I could open a dress shop or something. I’ve learned a lot about women’s clothing designs since Tommy bought the very best for me and wanted me to keep up with what was considered the height of popular fashion. I know a great deal about Worth and the various houses in New York and Paris.” She paused. “I suppose, however, I’ll be wearing black mourning for a time.”
“If you come to Cheyenne and want to live in town, your father and I would be happy to help you find a house.”
“If you start a dress shop, I want to come too,” Rose said, forgetting herself. She hurried into the room. “I’m sorry for spying.”
“It’s quite all right, Rosie. I would never go anywhere without thinking about you first.” Emma reached out and hugged her close. “Although, I doubt your brothers would want you moving that far away.”
“Colton will say yes if I ask. He told me he just wants me to be happy.”
Emma smiled. “He loves you very much, but I’m not sure he would approve. It’s a very long way to Cheyenne.”
“Yes, but my brothers say I’m a burden. I heard them, and when I asked you what a burden was, you told me it was a heavy load to carry.” This brought a frown to Emma’s face. Rosie worried she’d said something wrong.
“You are never a burden, Rosie. They were wrong to say that, so just forget about it. I’ll do what I can to make sure that where I go, you go.”
Her words made Rosie smile. She loved Emma like the sister she’d never had.
4
Emma felt much better now that the stitches were gone. The last two weeks had been a challenge in many ways, but most vital to her was deciding about the future. Strangely enough, the more she considered it, the more Emma wanted to return to Cheyenne, partly because she wanted to forget about Texas and all that had happened, but also because it felt like she’d left things undone there.
She had only been home once in the nine years since she left the territory, and that was for her father’s marriage to Lucille last fall. She hadn’t even been able to return home after their mother died because Clara and the children had been so sick that they’d needed her in Texas. There was a good portion of guilt associated with that originally, but Emma was never one to dwell on such things for long. In keeping with her good-time nature, she spared little time for regret. That had changed with the shooting.
Now it seemed regret haunted her day and night. She hated that the last time she’d seen her mother had been tense. Her mother’s words had been full of warnings and stern reminders that her reputation might be forever ruined if Emma failed to curb her zest for living.
The black gown she wore was evidence that her zest for living had come to an end. Emma didn’t mind it at all, as it rather matched her mood. She grieved for her husband as any woman might, but even more than her personal loss, she grieved for his soul. They had forfeited so many important things, all in order to enjoy the moment. Emma seriously wondered if she would ever enjoy life again.
Staying at the Benton house had helped in some ways. She felt Tommy’s presence here, but in a shared sense. With Colton and Rosie ever present, it was as if they bore the grief together. With a houseful of servants, there was also no reason to worry about cleaning or mending or cooking. At Clara’s, Emma had helped with a little bit of everything.
Clara had wanted Emma to return to the ranch, where she could care for her now that Papa and Lucille had returned to Cheyenne. But coming to the Benton house had been an easy decision. It allowed Emma to say good-bye to Tommy in degrees, and that was so much easier than saying good-bye all at once.
