Mrs. Duffy appeared with the glass and a decanter of whiskey. She poured the drink and brought it to Laura’s father. “Here you are, sir.”
He grabbed the glass, sloshing amber liquid on the tablecloth. “I’m making all the arrangements.”
Laura waited until Etta left the room. She cleared her throat as her father drank. “And what does Will have to say? He’s not talked to me about a wedding date. Don’t you think a couple should arrange their own wedding?”
“That’s not how it’s done in upper ... society. You know that. Most of your friends were engaged even before ... coming to that ... fancy finishing college of yours.”
“That college offered a much more detailed education than merely finishing young ladies to marry. I believe I could match most of the men in this town in any political conversation or discussion about the sciences or humanities.”
“You don’t usually boast,” he replied and took another drink. He glanced at the food left on Laura’s plate. “What is that?”
“It’s a little of this and that. Mrs. Murphy was baking bread and other things this afternoon, and I told her I’d just eat whatever we had left over from other meals. I figured since you had no plans to join me for supper, we didn’t need to have her making anything new.”
He frowned. “We aren’t poor. We have money! That should have been thrown out.”
“Oh, Father, you needn’t worry about anyone finding out. I won’t say a word.” Laura found his drunken state appalling.
His frown deepened. “I know ... know this is all a joke to you.” He waved the mostly empty glass. “You’ve never suffered from a lack of money like I have ... like your mother did.”
“I wasn’t trying to offend you, Father.” She could hear the anger in his tone.
“I don’t think you appreciate all that I’ve done for you.” He finished his drink and got up to pour himself another. Mrs. Duffy had left the decanter on the sideboard, so Laura’s father staggered over and brought it back to the table. “You don’t know what I’ve had to do in order to see you be so ... so comfortable.”
“I didn’t ask you to do it. I would have much rather stayed poor if it meant we could be together. It wasn’t easy to lose you and Mother.”
He poured the whiskey and swayed. Laura held her breath, wondering if he’d crash to the floor. She felt a huge sense of relief when he finally sank onto the chair.
“I never wanted children,” he said, staring at the glass.
Laura felt as if he’d slapped her. She bit her lip to keep from commenting as he continued.
“Your mother ... wanted children. I just wanted her.” He shook his head. “I knew I’d be no good at being a father. I didn’t want the responsibility.” He met her gaze. “That offends you, doesn’t it? Insults your sense ... sense of well-being ... your love for me.”
“At least you’re being honest.” Laura fought back tears. “I’ll start immediately to find a place of my own. I don’t need to impose myself upon you any longer. I’m quite capable.”
“You aren’t going anywhere.” He slammed the glass down, and it broke. Shards of glass splayed out on the once-beautiful tablecloth.
Father frowned and studied the mess for a moment before looking up and shaking his head. “You’ve benefited from me all these years, and now you’re going to benefit me. I will arrange your ... marriage. Your Mr. Porter knows the newgovernor. Knows him quite well.” He gave a hollow laugh. “With any luck at all, we can kill two birds with one stone.”
“What are you saying?” Laura wondered if he might share his plans with her since he was clearly freer with his thoughts in his current state. If he would just tell her, she could in turn share the information with Will and Edward.
“What are your plans, Father?”
He got to his feet and looked at her as though she were the one responsible for the mess he’d made. “It doesn’t matter.... You don’t matter.”
She felt the breath catch in the back of her throat and prayed for strength as he left the room.
After that evening with her father, Laura had given a lot of thought as to what she should do. She had a small savings, but nothing all that great. It wasn’t like she could set up housekeeping for herself. Not unless she was able to get a job, but employment for women was very limited. Besides, her father had made it clear that he wouldn’t allow her to leave.
Her heart had been completely shattered by their conversation, and yet her father had not tried to speak to her and sent no note of apology. She wondered if he’d been too drunk to remember what he’d said. He hadn’t been at breakfast since that night, and so they’d shared no meals at all. They did encounter each other once several days later. It had been late, and Laura was getting ready to go upstairs for the night. Father looked her way but said nothing. Offered no apologies. Perhaps he truly didn’t remember anything at all.
At church, she had quickly told Will what transpired. He offered her comfort and sympathy, but before she could askhim about the plans for marrying, they were interrupted, and then she had to leave for home.
Laura supposed it wasn’t all that important. After all, he had told her that he was pretending to want to work for her father and pretending to be on the list of men to escort the governor. It really was all right that he was also pretending to want to marry her. Even still, she worried incessantly that he would get caught trying to find evidence against her father. She no longer trusted her father to be fair or in the least way kind.
Will had asked if she’d join him for supper on Tuesday, and that was what she was now preparing to do. She had gotten up early and planned to tell her father about it, but he hadn’t been around long enough for her to share the news. In fact, when he saw that she was awake, he rose and headed for the door. She supposed it was possible that he was embarrassed by what had happened, perhaps even sorry for what he’d said. Then again, maybe now that the truth had been told, he no longer had to make a pretense of loving her.
“Don’t let the things he said hurt you,” Etta told her as she helped Laura into her gown. “It was the alcohol talking.”
