He was a fool. He hadn’t meant to hurt Ellie. He’d only said what he had to give her a sense of relief, to know that he wasn’t pursuing her. No matter how much he wanted to. And boy, did he want to. It seemed every time their paths crossed, the desire to pursue her grew stronger.
Carter closed his eyes. The look on her face last night when he’d told her that he didn’t consider her wife material ...
He’d handled the whole thing wrong. No wonder, when what he was saying didn’t match what he felt! But with Marvella’s propensity to matchmake, it seemed wise to state the obvious. No matter how much he cared for Ellie, if she continued to push God away, to blame Him for all the bad in her life, they could never marry.
He let loose with a heavy sigh. Marvella meant well. Her matching him up with Ellie proved the indomitable woman was working hard to help them get to know each other better.
“But I already know her.” He leaned back in his desk chair.
After Ellie and Mother talked that night on his parents’ porch, Mother hadn’t said much about their conversation. She’d just urged Carter to be kind and encouraging. Ellie had lost her mother at a young age, just as his mother had, and it made her most sympathetic to the struggle the younger woman faced.
Still, without God, Ellie would continue to struggle. She was searching for a way to make sense of the world. She was looking to feel the love her mother had given her—a love she believed was stolen from her.
Mark Andrews tapped on the doorframe. “Figured you might need someone to talk to.”
“Oh?” Oh good grief. Nowhewas defensive.
“I was only two chairs away last night. I heard your conversation with Miss Briggs.”
Carter deflated. “Sorry about that.”
For all that Mark had grown up working his father’s ranch, he was studious and loved books. Probably why he was the director of the Carnegie Library. Never one to intrude into Carter’s personal affairs, Mark was a quiet listener. And trusted friend.
He crossed over to Carter’s desk and sat in a chair opposite him. His gaze was unwavering, almost stern. “I’m just going to come out and say it. You’re not being a good friend to Eleanor.”
“What?” Just who did Mark think he was?
Mark didn’t back down. “I’ve never seen you act as haughty as you did last night. No matter if there was truth in your words, Eleanor was also correct. You’ve never faceda loss like she has. Never had to wrestle with God over a devasting disease that you can’t beat. Never had to watch a person you love die a horrible death right in front of you.” He leaned forward and rapped a knuckle on the thick desktop. “So I’m going to say it again, you’re not being a good friend to her. Especially by telling her she’s not wife material. Good grief, Carter! What were you thinking?”
That was the longest speech Carter had ever heard out of his friend. And it put him in his place. The stupidity of his behavior washed over him. He was wrong. He wasn’t a fool, he was an idiot! He palmed his face and shook his head. “To be honest ... I was probably saying it more to convince myself. Ellie Briggs attracts me like no other woman I’ve ever met.”
“And you’re worried because of where she stands with God.” Mark sat on the edge of Carter’s desk.
“Yeah.”
“You’re right to be concerned about that. When I first met Rebecca, she didn’t know the Lord. Marvella went on a mission to get her saved, but that didn’t stop us from being friends. Right now, you should be focused on friendship with Miss Briggs. But you’ve damaged whatever friendship you had with her. You hurt her too. And then you tried to beat her over the head with your faith and knowledge of the Bible?”
Wrong again. He wasn’t an idiot. He was an arrogant,fumblingidiot! “I have a lot of apologizing to do.”
Mark leaned back and smiled. “It’s a smart man who can recognize when he’s wrong, Carter. But it’s a humble man in the Lord who can own it and make amends.”
Carter nodded, his gaze locked on his folded hands. Notonly did he need to make it right with Ellie, but he needed to go to Jesus. He cleared his throat and looked up at his friend. “Thank you for caring enough about me to tell me when I’m in the wrong.”
“You’ve been a voice of reason for me many times. It’s what brothers in Christ are for.” Mark stood and held his hand out over Carter’s desk. “I’ll be praying for you, friend.”
Carter stood as well and clasped his friend’s hand. “I appreciate it.”
Mark left and Carter plopped back down in his chair. He was thankful the office was quiet right now. It gave him the chance to confess his behavior to Jesus and seek His forgiveness. He also prayed the Lord would give him the opportunity to genuinely apologize for hurting her.
Mark was right. No matter how attracted he was to Ellie, he had to deal with those feelings separate from being a good friend to her. It wasn’t fair to lash out at her when he was struggling with his attractiontoher. He shook his head.
What a mess he’d made.
Jack knocked on Carter’s door. “Got a minute?”
“Sure. Come on in, Jack.”
The older man came in and handed Carter a list. “We’re going to need to order these things for the mill. I took a complete inventory and checked over some of the parts that we knew were getting long in the tooth.”
