The chance to try out that porch swing sounded like just the thing. “Thank you. I think I would enjoy that.”
They ate the strawberries-and-cream cake that Mrs. Brunswick furnished and then made their way outside. Ellie took a seat, and Carter’s mother joined her while the men headed off toward one of the barns.
“Ellie.” She whispered her own name, trying it out. Rather than making her sad or annoyed, she loved it. Clung to it.
Cherished it.
Ellie settled into the swing and felt the tension ease from her as the swing began to rock. It was as though she’d done this a hundred times before. It felt so ... right.
Like she was at home.
She gazed out across the open landscape, toward the mountains.
Carter’s mother gave a sigh. “There’s a peacefulness out here that I’ve never found anywhere else.”
Ellie nodded, her gaze roaming the landscape that stretched before them. The white wheat danced in the breeze. The fragrance was sweet and earthy at the same time. She swallowed her pride and let her thoughts flow. “Growing up in the city, I never experienced anything like this. I wish everyone could.”
“I’m sure that would be beneficial to the soul.” The olderwoman rocked at an easy, slow pace. “Sometimes people spend an entire lifetime trying to find peace of mind and heart.”
Was she speaking about Ellie’s earlier comment? Only one way to find out. “I hope I didn’t offend you with my thoughts about never filling the hole in my heart. I’m not sure I want to fill it with something else. Her memories and love were important to me. They always will be.”
“Oh, my dear, I wasn’t suggesting you fill it to rid yourself of your mother’s memory. To my way of thinking, the hole left behind comes from her absence, and nothing can ease that pain save God. Especially given how much your mother loved the Lord.”
“How do you know that she loved Him so?”
“She spent the time and trouble to teach you to read the Bible. She took time to go over the stories and make sure you understood them, am I right?”
“Yes.”
“She must have loved God a great deal and you as well. It’s an arduous task to teach another to read, but having done the same thing with my children, I know it’s a task of love ... a special mission that God gives to each parent. Jacob also read with Carter and the girls. He perhaps did it less often than I did, but he knew it was important to share God’s Word with them and to answer their questions. I’ll bet you had a lot of questions. You look like the inquisitive type.” She raised a brow at Ellie.
“Yes.” The word was barely audible, so moved was she by the fact that Carter’s mother truly cared about her answers.
They slowed the swing to a stop.
Ellie drew a deep breath. “My mother was always infinitely patient to answer my questions. She made it easy for me to understand.”
“But then the answers you thought you understood failed you.”
Eleanor turned to look Mrs. Brunswick in the eye. How did she know that? “Yes. My mother died, and all the while I thought God would heal her ... deliver her from her pain and the cancer.”
“But He did. He healed her completely.”
Tears sprang to her eyes. This was the last place she wanted to cry. “But ...” Her voice broke, so she tried again. “He took her away from me. That’s not what I prayed for.” A tear slid down her cheek.
“I know. I didn’t pray for it either. God knew that I wanted my mother to get well and stay with me ... with our family.”
“Yes.” Ellie wiped away the tear, but others came to take its place.
“It’s hard to accept that a loving God would let such things happen. Allow sickness. Take a mother from her child or a child from its mother. I don’t think I’ll ever completely understand, but I take comfort in His faithfulness to never leave me to bear it alone. Ellie, God is there for you even now. He doesn’t desire you to carry this alone. He loves you, just as He loved your mother.”
Ellie shook her head. “But when will He take something else I love ... someoneelse?”
“Oh my dear.” She reached over and took Ellie’s hand in hers. Mrs. Brunswick’s hands were warm and comforting. “The Lord isn’t randomly taking people out of our lives to make us suffer or do us harm. Death came into the worldbecause of sin, I’m sure your mother shared that with you at some point.”
Ellie swallowed. Yes, she understood everyone sinned. Understood her need for a Savior. That’s why she’d put all her trust in Jesus as a child. But God betrayed that trust. And how was sin connected to Mother’s death? Her cancer? “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”
Mrs. Brunswick squeezed Ellie’s fingers. “Adam and Eve’s sin in the garden brought separation, death, and pain into the world. It brought sickness and many other things the Lord never intended us to experience. But even when His creation rebelled against Him, God still had a plan in motion. He was working things together to reconcile us back to Him, and though I don’t always understand how or why, He brings redemption out of pain and suffering, if we let Him.”
