Prologue
OCTOBER2, 1894—NEWYORKCITY
Watching the person she loved most in the world die was the absolute worst experience ever. Nothing could be as dreadful. Not even dying herself.
Ellie bit her lip and commanded the tears in her eyes to stop.
They didn’t listen.
They puddled in the corners until they spilled down her cheeks in great streams of salty liquid. Licking her lips, she swiped at her cheeks. “Mama? Tell me what to do ... how can I help you?”
Another wail escaped the woman on the bed.
A woman who no longer resembled the loving mother who’d given birth to her and raised her. Gone were the rosy cheeks and brilliant smile. The plump bosom and curvy figure had shriveled into the gaunt frame that couldn’t weigh more than ninety pounds.
Ellie tightened her grip on Mama’s hand, willing the pain away.
But another scream tore out of her fragile mother. Ellie clenched her eyes against the sound. She hated cancer! Hated the doctor for not being able to help. Hated God for allowing this.
Just an hour ago Mama had talked to her. With ragged breaths, she’d pleaded with Ellie to trust God and have faith that all would be well. That His will for her life was perfect.
Ellie had nodded and lied. Anything to make Mama feel better.
She might only be fourteen years old, but she’d witnessed too much suffering, too many horrors to believe that God’s will was perfect. Or even good. No matter what Mama said. No matter what Ellie had believed as a child. No. Not anymore.
Maybe back when she was little, she’d been gullible enough to believe. Back when Mama was well and whole. She’d been so proud that her daughter had placed her faith in the Almighty.
Her mother had been the strongest woman of faith ever ... andthiswas what God allowed to happen to her?
It wasn’t right.
It would never be right again.
What would she do without Mama?
The hot tears started in earnest again.
Mama’s wails dimmed to moans, but she continued to writhe as the stomach cancer ate at her body.
Doc had said it wouldn’t be long now. Why couldn’t he fix it?
It didn’t make sense. Mama was fighting for life, for each breath. If she was still fighting, why couldn’t the doctor?
Mama stilled.
The silence was worse than the wails.
“Mama?” Ellie scooted closer.
Waited for her mama’s next breath.
She counted to ten before it came.
Mama’s body lay limp beneath the thin blanket. Sweat dotted her forehead and Ellie wiped it away.
“Jesus!” Mama’s voice sounded with sudden strength. “Take me home!” The cry crackled from her throat.
“No ... Mama, please ... I need you. You need to stay with me.” Great sobs racked Ellie’s frame and she gripped her mother’s hand and squeezed.
