“I hope we have a girl this time around,” Eve said, buttering a slice of bread. “I rather enjoy Carrie’s approach to playtime. She’s so much quieter and far gentler than the boys. I think she’s been a good influence on them. I only hope they haven’t made her too rowdy.”
“Not at all. She loves to play with them. She enjoys other children more than I realized. Her first two years she didn’t have a lot of playmates. The neighbors had children, but they were older and in school. Then in the summer they were busy with chores. Carrie only had me to entertain her, and I kept her busy with helping me around the house.”
“She is quite the little worker. I caught her trying to sweep with my large broom the other day,” Eve said, laughing.
Marybeth nodded. “Pa made her a little broom so that she could help me. I left it behind in Indiana, but it wouldn’t be so hard to make her another one. I suppose I should check into doing that.”
“It’s good to train them up early.”
The conversation went on, but Edward paid it very little attention. He was still uncertain how to fix things with his wife. Hiswife. He couldn’t just send her away because things were hard. He remembered Pa telling him something to that effect just before he married Janey.
“You can’t just get rid of them when their actions or words don’t suit you, Edward. Don’t take awife if you aren’t ready and willing to work with her to figure out difficult issues. It won’talways be sunshine and roses. There will be storms.”
But he and Marybeth were good together. They didn’t argue or bicker over anything, save this one thing. Why couldn’t he just give it over to God? Why couldn’t he let go of his fear and make them both happy?
“Did you hear me, Ed?”
He looked up and met Fred’s gaze. “Sorry. I’m just a little tired. This is my first real outing, you know.” He was glad there was an excuse for his rude behavior. The last thing he needed was for his thoughts to become the topic of their dinner conversation.
Fred looked at him and frowned. “I had forgotten. How are you feeling? If you get too tired, I can help you home and then bring the food to you.”
“No. No, I’m fine.” But he wasn’t.
The events of the day had left him to realize just how far he was from trusting God and how close he was to losing all that he cared about.
I don’t know what to do, Lord. I’m sorry for mydoubts andfears, but I just don’t know what to do. I love Marybeth. I want her as mywife. I want to show her all the love andrespect she deserves. I don’t want to send heraway.
He thought of her threat to take Carrie and disappear if he tried to annul their marriage. He almost smiled at her feistiness. She would do it. It would make them miserable, but she would do it. Then he’d spend his time trying to find her and figure out what they should do next. And then they’d be right back to where they started.
Something had to change. He knew that much. The trouble was, it seemed that he was the something that needed to change.
21
Hank Garlow hated working for the railroad or any other organization that held their employees in tight constraint. There were always rules to follow. Supposedly, it was for the safety of the individuals and preservation of the equipment, but Hank wearied of being told what to do and when to do it.
With each drop in temperature and new blizzard, he gave serious consideration to them moving south. He’d heard that the Atchison, Topeka, and Santa Fe Railroad was adding to its line. They planned to run rails through the southern part of Kansas. It had to be warmer there than here.
Emory had suggested they get out of railroad work altogether, but it paid well and regularly. It also set up the perfect situation of men with extra money to spend or be robbed of. Gambling was popular with the men, and Hank and Emory were very good with cards.
But always there were the rules and regulations, and Hank despised them. He and Emory had laid low after killing the card dealer. It was a clear case of self-defense, but the man had friends, and Hank knew one or two of them would behot-headed enough to come gunning for him and Emory. He’d even convinced Emory to leave town for a couple of weeks. But they’d run out of money, and the only thing left to them was their free pass on the Union Pacific, and that led them back to Cheyenne and the rules.
The wind outside their railroad-provided room kicked up again. It blew a steady breeze, chilling Hank to the bone. The room wasn’t at all well insulated. These were part of the buildings that were torn down and taken along the rail as the operation moved west. They were nothing more than cheap board frames with camp stoves that barely kept a man from freezing to death. It was little wonder that a lot of the men opted for boardinghouses with their more permanent structures.
“TheLeaderis advertising a new bathhouse on Thomas Street,” Emory said, lowering the paper to look at his brother. “They offer copper tubs to soak in and all the hot water you want. I think that’s how I want to spend my afternoon.” He grinned and folded the paper. “You ought to come with me.”
The idea of soaking in a tub and warming his bones did sound good to Hank. A long hot bath followed by a big steak meal and then a night of cards and perhaps some female entertainment sounded even better.
“I suppose I could go for that.” Hank got up from the small table where he and Emory had spent most of the afternoon. “Then we can eat and go to Lucky Bill’s. I heard the railroad brought in a new bunch of recruits to cut timber. We could probably make ourselves a little money at cards.”
“Or a lot of money would be even better.” Emory pulled out his revolver to make sure it was loaded. “I’m ready if you are.”
Hank gave his own gun a once-over. A fella couldn’t betoo careful. He knew they’d be expected to check their guns, but Hank never did. He just wore his coat over his holster. People knew better than to bother him. Besides, most of the men hid a weapon on their body somewhere. Hank not only had his gun but also kept a large knife in his boot just in case.
“You think we’ll run into trouble?” Emory asked.
Hank shrugged and grinned. “If we’re lucky.”
“It’s been so good to have you back to work,” Fred said, putting aside a stack of newspapers. “The nights always seem to go by faster with you around. And now that we have someone to stay in the jail while we check things out, I feel a lot better too.”
