Was that really the trick to all of this? Was she not allowing God to comfort her—to share His peace? Was her inability to fully trust God and let go of her own fears the reason that she never felt that full comfort, that rest?
“God, I don’t know what to say,” Addie admitted. “I want to rest in You and to know Your peace. I do long to be comforted, and yet I know my faith is so very weak.”
She closed her eyes. “Forgive my unbelief. Please forgive me, Lord. I know I’m not nearly grateful enough for all You have already done. I know I should be happy to have found Isaac again and know that he still loves me. But I’m so afraid. Not just of Hiram and Shep either. I’m afraid of people knowing the truth about me and condemning me—casting me out of good company so that the only company I’m allowed is that of bad, disreputable folks.”
Addie felt her body relax a bit. She knew God was realand that He was known for His Word and faithfulness. Trust had never come easily to Addie, but she wanted to trust in God more than ever before.
“Forgive me, Lord. Please just help me to believe—to trust in You and know that You are with me always. Even when, or perhaps especially when, I feel all alone and without hope.”
When Addie awoke some hours later, it was Pearl’s face she first saw. The woman’s look of concern caused Addie to smile.
“Good morning, Pearl.”
“Good morning, Addie. I’m so glad to see that you are doing better. I’ve been so very worried about you.”
“I’m sorry for that. Sorry, too, that I’m not there to do my job at the expo. How are things going?”
“Quite well, but Otis is very worried about you. He was threatening to close down the shop in order to be here with me. I convinced him that you were on the mend and were sure to come home with us after the doctor released you. I think it’s the only reason he agreed to keep working.”
“Poor man.” Addie struggled to shift her position.
“Here, let me help,” Pearl said. Together the two carefully maneuvered Addie into a more comfortable position.
The door opened, giving Addie a terrible start. She pressed back into the pillow and closed her eyes. It was silly, she supposed. It wasn’t like harm or devastation couldn’t see her just because she’d closed her eyes. She opened them again.
“Here’s your breakfast, Miss Byrant.” A young woman,clearly a junior nurse, crossed the room. “Are you up for having it on your lap?”
Addie nodded. “That would be fine. Thank you.”
“The doctor said to tell you he wants you to eat it all. He will not even consider you going home until you are able to eat a proper meal.” She smiled. “I think you should like this well enough.”
Addie looked down at the plate of scrambled eggs. Beside that were two pieces of toast and a bowl of hot cereal. There was also a glass of orange juice and cream for the cereal. “This looks like an awful lot of food, but I’ll do what I can. You can remind the doctor I’m only just starting my recovery.”
The young woman giggled and shook her head. “We never tell the doctor that he’s wrong. It just isn’t done.” With that she hurried away to deliver other meals.
“It looks surprisingly good for institution food,” Pearl said, examining the tray.
Addie sampled the eggs. “It’s not so bad, I suppose. Lacks any seasoning, but it’s all right.”
She ate for a few minutes in silence while Pearl waited. She was such a dear friend, and Addie was touched that she’d taken time out of her day to be at the hospital.
“I’m afraid I don’t feel all that well,” Pearl said without warning. She got to her feet and turned to Addie as if to say something more. As if in slow motion, she moved slightly to her right, then collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
“Help!” Addie yelled as loudly as she could. “Somebody help us.”
One of the two Pinkertons looked in on the situation. He immediately noted the problem. “I’ll get someone.”
Addie was already trying to get out of bed, but with a broken arm, she wasn’t having much luck moving the tray.
Two muscular orderlies entered the room with a nurse at their side. They got a gurney and lifted Pearl onto it. Without another word, they whisked her away. The nurse turned to follow.
“Is she all right?” Addie asked, unable to imagine what had happened or why.
The nurse paused at the door. “The doctor will see her, then decide what’s to happen next,” she assured.
The wait was excruciating. Addie forced herself to eat, hoping that by doing so the time might pass faster. It didn’t.
Finally, Pearl herself peeked into the room. “Did I scare you?”
