“Well, we don’t want that. Be nice to her, and maybe we’ll both benefit from it.” Hiram gave the girl a smile. She was quite pretty, and with any luck at all, maybe he could have a bit of fun with her. “Say, what do you do with yourself after work?”
17
Addie nervously waited until the church service was over to seek out Pastor Jenkins. He had spoken of God’s great forgiveness of sin and how easy it was to be cleansed of it. Addie knew that she could pray and ask God to forgive her. Isaac had once told her all about that and how by turning from sin and asking Jesus to be her Savior, she would not only be forgiven but have eternal life. At the time, it had sounded quite appealing, but also difficult. How could God forgive sin without seeking to punish first?
Of course, there were earthly consequences. People would always have to deal with the circumstances they created by sinning. Very few people could walk away unscathed, but Pastor Jenkins told them God offered complete absolution.
“You don’t have to be afraid for the future,” he had said just before closing the service. “God holds your destiny. If you’ve put your trust in Him, you have nothing to fear.”
She wanted to believe that so much, but how could she?
“Pastor Jenkins, could I talk to you for a few minutes?” She knew Isaac would be looking for her. They had met up prior to the service, and he had told her he was takingher to his sister’s house for lunch, and then they could have their talk. She’d asked Pearl to find him and tell him she’d be delayed a few minutes.
“I’d be pleased to talk with you, Addie. It would seem the sunny day has sent my congregants from God’s house in a hurry.”
She glanced around, happy to see no one was lingering to talk to the pastor. She breathed a sigh of relief.
Pastor Jenkins led the way to the front of the church. “Would you like to sit here or in my office?”
“Your office, please. Mrs. Jenkins can come too,” she said as the woman approached.
“Of course. Selma, Addie would like to talk to us for a moment.”
“How nice. I was hoping to find you and tell you how pretty you look in that summery gown,” Mrs. Jenkins added.
Addie had worn her nicest dress, a lavender layered muslin with ivory cording and lace. “Thank you. I don’t have to work today, so I thought it would be nice to dress up.”
“Since you don’t have to work, would you like to come to the house and have lunch? We could talk there?” Mrs. Jenkins offered.
“No, I have a luncheon date already. That’s why I can’t delay too long. It’s just that this is rather important, and I need to talk to you before I talk to someone else.”
The husband and wife exchanged a look, then gave Addie a nod. “Well, come right on with us.”
Once in the pastor’s tiny office, they took seats, and Addie folded her gloved fingers together to avoid twisting the material of her skirt.
“What’s on your mind, Addie?”
“Your sermon today. You said that God will forgive my past sins. You said that a person has only to ask forgiveness and turn from sin. I want to believe that, but my sins are great.”
The pastor smiled. “I doubt they are greater than my own, and God has forgiven those.”
Addie felt her nerves getting the best of her. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come.” She glanced at the door.
“Whatever it is, Addie, you can talk to us. We will keep your confidence and advise you as best we can.”
She drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. “When I lived in the Yukon with my father and brothers—it wasn’t a good life. They were cruel. When my father died, my brothers ... sold me to a man who owned a gambling hall and brothel.”
“Oh, Addie.” Mrs. Jenkins reached over and took hold of her hand. “You poor child.”
“I wasn’t made to work in the brothel—well, I did cook for the girls.” Addie lowered her head. “But I was made to be the man’s mistress. He did later marry me, but the harm was already done. I guess I just want to know if God can really forgive me.”
“Oh, my sweet child.” Mrs. Jenkins put an arm around Addie and hugged her close. “Addie, none of that was your fault or choice. You didn’t seek to be a mistress. You were forced into it. Of course you’re forgiven. It was never your sin, Addie. It was the man, or men in this case, who forced you into that life.”
“I feel so ashamed. Isaac wants to marry me, but he knows nothing of my past. I can’t impose that on him.”
“Why not just tell him the truth? If he truly loves you, it won’t matter,” Pastor Jenkins said.
“I know it won’t matter to him, but, Pastor, it might well matter to others. He has the job he’s always wanted. What if he marries me, and someone there recognizes me? What if my brothers learn about our marriage and want to make trouble for us? I can’t have Isaac risk his job for me that way. He’s fought far too hard for this.”
