“How’s your mother?” Owen asked, dishing up what looked like creamed chicken pie. If it was Mrs. Payne’s dish, he knew it would be incredible. He’d eaten it at many a church covered-dish dinner.
“I really don’t know how Mother is doing. The doctor says so little. I don’t think he knows either.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Owen said.
By the time he finished gathering food, Owen’s mouth was watering and his stomach was growling. Susanna had clearedoff a place for him at the table and had even brought him iced tea to drink.
“You’ll make someone a good wife,” he teased.
“I already got me a fella picked out,” she countered with a wink.
As Owen took his first bite, Mr. Ragsdale came out of his wife’s sickroom. His eyes were red, and it looked as if he’d been crying.
Susanna stiffened. “Is Mother ... did she...”
“She’s still alive,” her father replied. “It’s just so hard to see her like that.” He sat down opposite Owen at the table. “Your brother is talking to her now, but she’s barely conscious. Fades in and out. I don’t think she knows we’re here.”
“I’m sure she knows.” She turned to Owen. “Would you mind if I ran over to the hotel for a change of clothes? I’ll be right back, and it will give you time to eat.”
“Yes, of course,” Owen said, and Susanna smiled and hurried from the house.
Owen ate in silence, not wanting to be a nuisance to Mr. Ragsdale. The man obviously had a lot on his mind.
“What are your intentions toward my daughter?” Ragsdale asked out of the blue.
Owen had just taken a mouthful and nearly choked. He managed to wash it down with the iced tea, then wiped his mouth. “I hope to marry her.” He smiled. “If we can have your blessing, that would make us both really happy.”
Ragsdale nodded. “I can see how much you care for her. I haven’t seen her this happy since before her husband got sick and died. It happened pretty quickly. I don’t know if she told you or not.”
“She did. A terrible thing to go through.”
“Yes.” Ragsdale nodded and toyed with the edge of the tablecloth. “They’d been good friends since childhood. It was almost impossible to separate them.”
“She said as much. I asked her to tell me all about him and their time together.”
“Does it bother you that she was married before?”
“Not in the least. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m just happy to have her in my life now. You said you hadn’t seen her this happy for a long time. Keeping her happy is my desire and goal. I want to make a good life for her—give her children, grow old together.”
Ragsdale glanced toward the bedroom door. “I loved Gladys from nearly the first moment our parents brought us together.”
“I’m sure she must have felt the same.” Owen continued eating.
“No.” Ragsdale shook his head. “No, she didn’t. She was angry. She didn’t want to marry me, but my family had money and power. Her father was a politician—popular with the people, but he didn’t have a lot of money. Gladys always wanted to belong to the elite society in our town and elsewhere. She wanted people to admire her. To look up to her.”
“Well, certainly she has come to love you over the years.”
“I’m not sure I can even say that,” Susanna’s father said, shaking his head slowly. “She’s never been very happy. She was happy to spend my money and attend all the parties that my name opened up to her, but love was never a topic of discussion. But then, now that I look at myself, I don’t see a man worthy of love.”
Owen heard the sadness in his voice. He wished he could say something that might help, but frankly, Owen had never known much love himself. It was what had always drawn him to God. God was said to be love, and Owen craved love. His father and grandparents favored his brother, and Owen was pretty much left to raise himself. There was never even the slightest word spoken about love. His mother offered love freely to him, but that ended when she died.
“If I knew God better, perhaps I wouldn’t feel this way, but I doubt even God would love me if He really knew me.”
It dawned on Owen that this was something hecouldsay, something to share that might change everything. “But He does know you. Do you know that the Bible says God knew you in your mother’s womb? He told this to Jeremiah, but it seems it would be true for each person. I’m pretty sure God knows everything about everything and everyone. I feel confident He knows everything about you.”
“You really suppose God knows about my cheating and lying? About my unwillingness to receive wise counsel to the ruination of my family? And still He would want anything to do with me?”
“We’re all sinners, Mr. Ragsdale. There’s no one who is righteous. Not even one. Everyone needs to be forgiven and to make peace with God, and the only way that can be done is through the blood of Christ. He’s the only way to God. The only way to love.”
