“Yes.” She looked over at him and found him watching her. She smiled and returned her gaze straight ahead. What must he think of her? She had suggested this time alone.
“How are things with your folks?” he asked.
“About the same. They’re starting to be quite vocal about this all being my fault. At first it was Uncle Harrison’s fault, but now it’s mine because I could have helped them remain in Topeka and never let them know I had the means.”
“How could you have kept them in Topeka?”
She smiled. “The money Mark left me.”
“Oh, that. Of course.” He shook his head. “I am sorry.”
She liked the way he’d responded as if the money didn’t matter. “Money changes everything.”
“If it helps,” he said, chuckling, “I have a sizable bank account myself. Without family or a wife to support, I’ve been able to put away most of my salary these last fifteen years.”
She laughed. “Well, good. We can rest assured that we don’t need each other’s money.” She paused and sobered. “Actually, that is very nice to know.”
He nodded. “I suppose it is. Folks are always taking advantage of each other, it seems.”
“Especially in my family. Money has corrupted everything.” She shook her head and thought of how sad it was to admit such a thing. Her parents had never found contentment and probably never would. “As I said, at first my parents could blame Uncle Harrison, and now they can blame me. Mother has schemed to get me to give her large amounts of money, even telling me that she’s ill and needs to go to California to see a doctor.” Susanna shook her head. “Honestly, if I thought it would make things right for them, I would give all I have.”
“But it won’t fix the problem.”
“No,” she admitted. “I’m not sure anything will. Neither Father nor Mother will admit their part in their circumstances.” She stopped and turned to face Owen. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. I suppose I just need a friend to help me bear the burden, but you certainly didn’t ask for that.”
He touched her arm. “I’m asking for it now. I’ve come to care for you, Susanna. I think you know that.”
She gave a little sigh. “I know that I’ve come to care for you. I enjoy our talks and time together. I’m just sorry that you seem so intricately drawn into my family’s problems. I know Gary isn’t working out well. I can tell by the way he acts around you.”
“It’s true. He’s a real problem, and I fear I will have to move him to another department. He’s begged me not to do that,but I think it’s only because he fears someone else wouldn’t be as lenient.”
“Most likely.”
Owen glanced down at the ground. “I don’t know what to do. There are times when I think he’s really trying, and other times he reminds me of my brother.”
“How is that?”
“Daniel wouldn’t listen either. Or if he did, he wouldn’t do what he was supposed to do. He died in an accident at the shops, and it was because he wouldn’t follow procedure. It killed another man too. My father blamed me, and when he died a year later, I’m ashamed to say I felt mostly relief. Relief that he couldn’t go on blaming me.”
“I’m so sorry, Owen.”
“Daniel was so spoiled. Mom died when he was just two. Our grandparents raised us after that. Our father was a train engineer and gone most of the time. Daniel was allowed to do anything he wanted. I was already twelve and was expected to be helpful, to watch over him. I was angry at my mother’s death and closed myself off from other people. No one had time to worry about it, so I just kept on being that way. When Grandma and Grandpa died, it only made me more determined never to be close to anyone. It wasn’t until I came here and met Pastor Lewis that I learned to open up again. Even so, I don’t make a lot of friends. Just a few at a time. It seems safer that way.”
“I understand. Mark, my husband, was my only real friend for most of my life. A couple of girls befriended me, but their friendship was so superficial that I lost interest. It seemed wrong to invest so much time and energy in something that wasn’t real.”
“Yes, exactly.”
They started walking again, but this time Owen shifted the Bible to his right hand and looped his left arm with Susanna’s. She gave him a smile, hoping he realized just how much she wanted that connection.
“I hope,” she finally said, feeling that it was important to offer Owen some assurance, “you won’t worry about what you must do with Gary. At least not on my account. I have no say in the matter, nor will I beg for special privileges for him. If you recall, I was the one who warned you when you took him on.”
They left the river and walked north toward the road that would lead them back into town. Susanna felt as if she’d finally found the peace her life had been missing. First with her decision about Jesus, and now spending time with Owen.
When Mark had first made her promise she would remarry after he died, Susanna couldn’t fathom that possibility. And though she had promised him she would, she hadn’t meant it. Not really. Now, after spending even these short few months with Owen, she could see the possibility. Owen made her feel safe and cared for, just as Mark had. He made sense in her otherwise senseless world. She could only hope he felt the same way about her.
“When we get back to the hotel, I’ll fix us some lunch,” she said. “If you aren’t expecting anything too fancy, we should be able to put together a decent meal.”
Owen laughed. “I never expect anything fancy, so have no fear of...” His words trailed off. “There’s smoke up there. Something’s on fire!”
