“All right.” She leaned back in the chair.
“I came out of my room to dump this down the drain.”
Havyn waited.
“I could blame everyone else and all that’s happened for why I started drinking ... but that would be a lie.” She leaned forward and set the bottle on the table in front of her. “I realized something tonight.”
“What’s that?”
“That I stopped putting God first in my life. Actually, it’s been quite a while since I’ve done that. Long before we lost Mama. And when I couldn’t deal with everything that happened, I tried to fill that hole in my life with something else. Anything else. Whatever it took to numb me.” She gave a harsh laugh. “I’ve been whining and complaining in my mind about being broken and feeling numb. But I was doing it to myself the whole time.”
Havyn watched and held her breath.
Whitney let out a sigh. “Funny ... it took Judas Reynolds proposing to me for me to see the truth.”
“What?” If she hadn’t been expecting, Havyn would have jumped out of her chair.
Whit held up a hand. “Don’t worry. I told him no. But he still wants me to think about it.” Then she waved her hand back and forth. “That’s not the point here. He said he loved me and would give me everything I wanted—that he would put me first in his life. That’s when it hit me. Even thoughI’ve felt abandoned by God all these months, have lashed out at Him for my suffering, I knew in my heart that no one deserves to be first in anyone’s life but Him.”
Havyn scooted to the edge of her seat. “Mama made sure to remind us of that every day.”
“It took me long enough to realize I had caused my own misery.” She stood up and walked over to the piano. Sliding her hand over the lid, she looked at Havyn. “Peter and Ruth both asked me why I was punishing myself by not playing anymore. ... I didn’t have a good answer. I keep thinking about Peter talking about the ways he’s failed the people he loved. I felt that way too, but I tried to help him see that he hadn’t failed. Maybe I need to see that for myself, too. Life is difficult, and I won’t always manage to do the right thing”
Havyn got up and went to wrap her sister in a hug. “None of us have handled things perfectly, Whit.”
“I need you to forgive me, Havyn. I’m so sorry for my behavior. For lashing out at you and Madysen when you found the whiskey. I know you confronted me because you love me. But I couldn’t see it at the time.” Whitney took her hand. She reached down for the bottle she’d left on the table. “Will you help me get rid of it?”
Nothing could contain the joy coursing through her. Her sister was back. “Of course.” She gripped her sister’s shoulders and fixed her gaze on her. “Look at me.”
Whitney did.
“Maddy and I will love you, no matter what. And we’re always here for you. I promise. You don’t have to carry all of this on your own. Mama would scold us if we let you.”
Her older sister laughed at that. “You’re right. She would.” She headed for the kitchen. At the sink, she poured the remainder of the bottle out.
“I’m sure that was hard. Especially since it helped with your headaches.”
Whitney shook her head. “No. My headaches were just an excuse. Once Peter discovered they were caused by hypertension and started me on a treatment, they got better. I don’t need the alcohol for that pain anymore, but I can’t say that it doesn’t call to me. Now I understand why dad drank so much. It numbs you. Helps you forget.” She turned to Havyn and gave her the empty bottle. “But I don’t want to forget anymore. I’m ready to move forward, no matter how painful it may be. Life is still beautiful and worth living.”
Havyn threw her arms around her sister and let the tears flow. “I’ve missed you.”
“Me too.”
As her sister pulled back, Havyn saw great big tears fall from her eyes. Healing had begun.
No matter the losses, no matter the trials ... they were whole again. Together.
Family.
Thank You, God.
It wouldn’t be long now. Whitney would come to her senses and see that marrying him was the best choice for her.
Soon he’d have a beautiful wife on his arm, her family fortune at his disposal, and perhaps even a child on the way.
Judas stared out the window and let himself dream. He’d built quite an empire here.
Nome was his.
