Feeling more lost than ever, she reached under the bed and grabbed the bottle of whiskey. Was it true? Would she turn out like her dad?
The sharp throbbing took up residence in her head again. She had no choice but to take a long swig and hope that sleep would overtake her.
Numbness in her shoulder woke her up. Where was she?
She pushed up and wiggled her arm to get the feeling back. Everything ached. Not just her head. But what could she expect? She’d slept on the floor in her clothes.
What a mess.
Getting to her feet, she put a hand to her head.
Just like Dad had said, she didn’t feel like going anywhere or doing anything, but she had no choice. The villagersneeded her. Peter needed her help too. She would have to ignore the throbbing in her head and make the best of it.
Whitney lit the lantern and turned the lamp down to a soft glow. It was a good thing the sun wouldn’t come up for a while. Because light didnothelp her headaches. She reached for her watch and looked at it. Ten minutes after five in the morning. If she hurried, she could get out to the dogs without anyone seeing her.
Changing out of her nice dress as quick as she could, she made a list in her mind of what she needed to grab. If she was gone for another day or two, maybe things would settle down here and she could apologize to everyone.
But the more she moved, the worse her symptoms became.
“I hate that Dad was right.” Her mumbling under her breath didn’t help. Only proved that she had an awful lot of hate in her heart. Another way she was failing.
God, what is wrong with me?
When no answer came, she reached for her things and headed out of her bedroom as quietly as she could.
Her stocking feet on the wood floors didn’t make a sound, and no light came from the kitchen or parlor. Relief washed over her as she put on her coat and thick boots and headed out to the barn.
All was quiet on the farm in the chill of the early morning. Whitney took several breaths and worked to calm the wild beating of her heart. Now was not the time to have anxiety. She was fine.
She reached into her pocket and gripped the tonic bottle. She pulled it out and––
What was shedoing? Had it become that much of a habit that she reached for it without even thinking it through?
Shoving the bottle back into her pocket with more forcethan was necessary, she shook her head. Dad might be weak when it came to alcohol, but she wouldn’t be. She was stronger.
The dogs greeted her with their usual eagerness. Many of them jumped, barked, and wriggled to get as close to her as possible. She thought about taking one of the other teams for practice but decided against it. Her personal team was one she could count on, and the situation was such that it was important everything go smoothly. There would be time enough to work with the other dogs. After all, Peter wanted a team.
Peter.
His name sent a flurry of thoughts racing through her head. She compared him to Judas. Both men were quite nice to look at. Both were successful in what they did. But that was where the comparisons ended. Peter loved God, and his heart was one of service and kindness. Judas was a businessman through and through and knew how to make deals that would profit him. But did he care about people?
Well ... didn’t he take care of everyone in town?
Unlike Judas, Peter didn’t care about profits. He wouldn’t accept payment from the villagers most of the time. Only if they offered him goods to barter for his services. Probably because he knew they had so little.
She searched for answers as her mind volleyed back and forth between the two men. The fact that she cared about Peter warred with the courtship she’d agreed to with Judas. What did it all mean?
One of the dogs howled, and within two seconds, the rest of them were howling along. Whitney shook her finger at Aurora. “I know, you wanted my attention. But see what you’ve started? Now hush. We’ll be on our way soon.”
This was ridiculous. She needed to focus on the task at hand—not compare Judas and Peter.
It didn’t take her long to get a sled loaded up and the dogs in their harnesses. She left a note for John that she might be gone a few days to help Dr. Cameron and to please take care of the dogs for her. It reminded her that Eli had wanted to learn more about the dogs. She’d promised her younger brother that he could help. Something else she’d have to tackle when she returned. Just because she was a mess didn’t mean that the rest of her family had to suffer.
After double-checking everything, she headed out to the lane with the dogs.
And almost ran straight into her father and sisters.
“I packed light.” Dad tossed his bag into the sled basket and shot her a smile. “Let me just shift a few things around here so I have a place to sit.” Without getting her permission, he went to work. Still smiling, no less.
