She ran around to the driving position and lifted the hook.
Dad stepped in front of the team. “Thank you!” He waved a hand at her.
“Let’s go!” She didn’t even acknowledge him. With her boots firmly planted on the foot boards, she urged the dogs faster.
The hairs on her neck prickled, and she put her scarf back in place and scanned the horizon. No one appeared to be out there. But it felt like eyes were on her. And little fingers raced up her back.
With a quick glance to the rear, she put the fear to rest. No one was behind her. No one was beside her. No one in front of her.
So why was her heart still racing?
She looked every direction around her trying to rid herself of the anxiety. It wouldn’t settle. “Go, Pepper,go!”
Her lead dog barked.
Thankfully, the dogs weren’t worn out and loved to run, so the sled gained even more momentum. It wasn’t the safest thing to go full speed after dark, but she had no choice. Not really. Not if she wanted to retain her presence of mind.
Her breaths came in short intervals, and no matter what she tried, she couldn’t get rid of the creeping terror that she was being followed. That someone was watching.
That she would be attacked.
Again.
Panic took over, and she fought to stay focused on the task at hand. The village wasn’t far. She could get there. Everything would be fine.
But her hands began to tremble on the handlebar. She needed help.
She reached for the bottle deep in her coat pocket. Thefirst sip warmed her throat but did nothing to steady her hands. So she took another sip. Then another.
Her mind drifted back to the horrible events of the past year. In the dark, it was too easy to do.
Another sip.
Stop it. Positive thoughts should be her focus. Not these.
Another sip.
Then her mind went to the picture of her dad. The look in his eyes when she put him in Amka’s sled rather than her own. The expression on his face when she left him at the gold camp. She shook her head. She wasn’t responsible for his feelings.
The image that overwhelmed her in that moment was her dad lying in a heap in the street.
Then him wobbling back and forth when he was drunk.
Then his funeral, when they thought he’d died.
Another sip.
But this time it burned. Up through her nose. And she choked and sputtered.
She shoved the bottle back in her pocket as her eyes watered and overflowed. The tears froze on her cheeks, and she lifted her scarf back up over her nose and mouth.
She deserved the pain. The sting.
Havyn’s words came rushing back:“You have God with you.”
As much as she wanted that to be true, she’d pushed Him away. Why would He welcome her with open arms after that? She lifted her face to the sky.
“Why?”
