Judith and Caleb were laughing about something, and for a moment, Kenzie focused on their joy. She loved being part of this family. She didn’t regret leaving Missouri, although she did miss her mother. But when she considered everything that had happened over the last year, Missouri no longer felt like home.
“I have one more question,” Micah said, pulling her thoughts back to him.
“All right.” She could see he was serious. “I’ll try to give you an honest answer.”
“Do you love me ... even a little?”
She swallowed hard, but the lump that formed in her throat refused to move. Could she say what needed to be said without causing him even more frustration?
“Kenzie?”
“I do,” she barely whispered, “but just as I’m confused about all that transpired with Arthur, I don’t want to make another mistake with you.”
“What are you saying? How could loving me be a mistake?”
“It feels like my entire life this last year has been based on lies. What if my feelings for you are as well? You pursued me when I was most vulnerable. I was heartbroken—devastated by the loss of my dream of true love. You came along and insisted I let you in my life. As I got used to you and came to accept that you were a good man—that your feelings were genuine—I began to allow myself to have feelings for you.”
“Although you fought it all the way,” he teased.
“But what if those feelings are nothing more than emotions built on the ruins of my love for Arthur?”
“What if they are? You make them sound less valid because they came forth from the ashes. Will the city being built now have less relevance or validity just because the new is being built on the ashes of the old?”
He always had a way to explain away her concerns. “I just don’t want to make another mistake.” She met his gaze. “I want this to be real.”
“It is real, Kenzie. Arthur is the past. Don’t let him ruin what we can have together. We’ve always been honest with each other—sometimes painfully so. I love you, and you know that you love me. You told me so just a few minutes ago, and you cannot take it back now.” He grinned.
“I don’t want to. I just want to be certain it will last.”
He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. Kenzie let her head rest on his shoulder. She was surprised at how right it felt. She tried to remember ever feeling like this with Arthur, but in that moment, she couldn’t even call him to mind. Micah’s presence was too overpowering—too wonderful. She sighed.
“See,” he whispered against her ear, “this is exactly where you belong.”
When Victoria was certain that the others had retired to bed, she pulled on her robe and made her way downstairs. She was thankful that Camri had agreed to share a room with Judith so that Victoria could have a room to herself. It would afford her the opportunity to scout out the house without the others questioning what she was doing.
The house was dark. The electricity hadn’t yet been restored, but Victoria knew where she could get what she needed. She’d made a close inventory earlier in the evening of anything she thought might prove useful. There were a few pieces of bric-a-brac she might be able to sell, and the silver candlesticks in the dining room should fetch a good sum. If she could just get enough money together, she could buy a train ticket to New York. She had friends there, and surely they would see that she gained both her inheritance and her freedom.
She felt her way along the hall and into the dining room, where she knew she’d find candles and matches. She quickly lit a small candle and glanced around the room. It was a fairly large dining room. Not anything like her Grandmother’s, but it was better than she’d anticipated.
Back in the hall, Victoria headed toward the back of the house.
“Who’s there?” Caleb called out.
She startled and froze in place, then drew a deep breath. “It’s Victoria.”
A door opened to her right, and the warm glow of lamplight illuminated Caleb Coulter. He smiled. “Is something wrong?”
She tried to figure out how to best play this hand. “I was ... well, I couldn’t sleep.”
“Why don’t you come in, and we can talk? I can tell you about God. You said you’d like to know more.”
A sermon was the last thing she wanted to hear, but Victoria knew she would do well to play this game. “Yes, of course. I’d like that.”
As she followed him into the room, she undid the sash of her robe. Her nightgown and robe were hardly appropriate attire, and should someone else see her like this, they might question what was going on between her and Caleb. She smiled and fervently hoped someone might happen upon them.
“Sit here by the fire so you won’t get cold. I’ll fetch you a blanket as well.” Caleb crossed the room to a wooden trunk and pulled out a small quilt. “This should do the trick.”
Victoria took a chair. “I’m not cold.” She smiled up at him as he put the blanket across her lap. “But thank you.”
