“Does that mean I don’t deserve to fall in love? To have a chanceto break the cycle? Do I have to settle for someone else? Someone who doesn’t make me smile just by texting me an emoji of a taco every single Tuesday morning?”
“You insisted, that night in the park, that friendship was the only path open to us.”
Zane blew out a long breath. “At the time, it was. You were only a few months out of rehab. You needed a year, minimum, before you entered into any romantic relationship. I knew you were attracted to me. I knew I was attracted to you. But the tension between us was tearing us apart. I couldn’t in good conscience ask you out or confess how much I wanted to see where things could go for us. From where I stood, at that point we had two choices. Friendship or nothing at all. And while I was strong enough, barely, to hold back from asking for more from you, I wasn’t strong enough to stay completely out of your life.”
Tessa leaned into the palm he now had pressed against her cheek.
“I will always be your friend. You’re never going to lose that, Princess. But I want more than friendship. I want your love. I want your heart. I want all of you.”
21
TESSA SLID HER ARMSaround Zane’s waist and leaned into him. They stood that way long enough that their breathing synced. Zane was holding her. Zane wanted her. Zane’s timing was truly horrible.
He pulled back and tilted her face up. “I’m loving having you in my arms, Princess, but do you think you could fill me in on what you’re thinking right now? Are you going to break my heart or make me happier than I’ve ever dared to be before?”
Tessa stared into eyes so blue that it was like looking up into a clear sky. “I would never break your heart. It’s mine, and I protect what’s mi—”
Zane’s lips were on hers before she got out the final word. His kiss was a gentle inferno. Slow but engulfing. And when they finally broke apart, his name was emblazoned on her soul.
He brushed her cheeks with his thumbs and whispered, “My princess,” before he kissed her again.
When they eventually made it to the kitchen, Zane insisted that she needed food, then sleep. “I’m not as good as Gil,” he said as he opened her refrigerator. “But I make a mean omelet.”
“I know.”
His smile was almost shy. Was he nervous? Now? A spike of fear shot through her. What if, despite the feelings they already had for each other, they messed it all up?
She stood at the counter and watched as Zane diced onions and tossed them into a sauté pan before turning to the other ingredients. She didn’t need to tell him what she liked. He knew. The same way he knew she liked sparkling water with lime when she went out to eat, and that as much as she loved coffee, she also loved chai tea at midday. She knew a lot about him too. She knew he had zero tolerance for unresolved conflict, but not because he was afraid of it. He simply couldn’t leave things up in the air. He needed to know where he stood, even if it was on the opposite side of an issue.
But for her, he’d lived in the tension of their friendship that wasn’t just a friendship. And he’d lived with it for almost two years. She so didn’t deserve him. She didn’t realize she’d let out a huge sigh until Zane came around the counter and took her hands in his. “Regrets already?”
“No regrets. No doubts. But some... trepidation. I don’t know how to be your...” What was she? His girlfriend? That seemed... not quite right. They hadn’t even been on a date. Officially.
“I don’t think we have to put a name to it yet.”
She couldn’t explain the sense of both relief and concern his words generated. “Are you planning to keep us a secret?”
“Absolutely not. If I didn’t think you’d shoot me, I’d put up billboards all over Raleigh that read, ‘Have you seen this woman? She’s mine.’”
She laughed and the tension broke.
“Don’t be scared of us, Tess. We’re exactly who we were an hour ago. The only difference is that we’re not pretending to just be friends.” A sly wink. “And we kiss.”
She leaned toward him and pressed a quick peck to his lips. “Kissing is good.”
“It is.” He pressed a finger to her lips before she could kiss him again. “But if you keep that up, I’ll burn the onions.” He squeezed her knee. “We’re going to be okay. We’ll figure it out as we go. Sometimes it will be easy. Sometimes it will be tough. But have you ever known me to give up on anything?”
She shook her head.
“Do you think I’ll ever give up on us?”
“No,” she whispered.
“Me neither.” He went back to the stove, and she leaned against the counter as he cracked eggs and whisked them in a small bowl. “I do want you to think about something tonight, though.”
“What’s that?”
“If you want to tell everyone tomorrow or if you want to wait.”
