He obeyed. Chewed. Swallowed. “The only reason I have a clue what a normal home life looks like is because of what I experienced from my friends growing up, and then watching you, Gil, and Luke make your homes into places of refuge. I appreciate it, and I agree that it’s something I should do. But I’m not sure I have the capacity to.”
“You know what you need?” Tessa asked after swallowing a huge bite of cheeseburger.
“I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“You need me to come to DC and set up your house.” Tess crammed a fry into her mouth. It almost disguised the vulnerable expression on her face.
But he saw it, and he knew he could hurt her right now. He could tell her no, and she would smile and say something glib about how he shouldn’t complain about his living conditions if he wouldn’t accept assistance. She wouldn’t make a big deal out of the fact that she was wounded. She never did.
But they were past the point where he could wound her, evenif it was for her own good. His heart simply refused to consider it. “You have to stay in budget.”
Her eyes widened in unmistakable delight, but the glee morphed into a haughty, albeit fake, response. “I’m the queen of discount. The empress of clearance. The czarina of markdown. I never exceed my budget.”
They talked specifics while they finished their food. Tessa grinned at him as they left the soda shop. “You won’t be sorry.”
“I’ve seen your place, Tess. I know I won’t.” Her apartment was his favorite spot in Raleigh. It was cozy, restful, clean, uncluttered, and screamed “Tessa lives here” to anyone paying attention. “I retain veto rights on colors and patterns. I’m not putting a floral duvet cover on my bed. There will be no pink, no lavender, and I’m not a huge fan of green.”
Tessa linked her arm through his as they walked and discussed his home. He didn’t think she even realized they were walking so close that their hips occasionally brushed. Or maybe she did, and she didn’t care. He certainly didn’t mind.
“You need to make your living room a place you can unwind at the end of the day. Your kitchen needs to have the basic necessities for quick, healthy meals, and your bedroom needs to be an oasis.”
“My bedroom needs to be a place I can sleep. That’s all I care about.”
“That won’t work.” Tessa squeezed his arm. “It’s the first thing you see in the morning, the last thing you see at night. It should be a space that speaks to your soul, calms your nerves, and enables you to fully relax. You need rich wood tones, navy bedding, gray walls, photographs of waterfalls and mountain ranges, and if there’s room, a chair with a reading lamp.”
Zane’s mind filled with the image her words created. The mental picture had him slowing their pace until he brought them to astop on the sidewalk. “It sounds perfect. How do you know that’s what it should be?”
She smiled. “Because I know you. You love blue, you love nature, you had two huge photographs of waterfalls in your place before the fire.” Tessa kept her left hand wrapped around his bicep and gestured with her right. “I don’t see you with white, light wood or painted furniture. No fabric-tufted headboards.”
“That’s a definite no.”
“I picture a bed frame made of mahogany. Maybe a deep cherry or walnut.”
“That sounds a bit harsh.”
“No. It sounds warm and solid. Like you. Because the bed is the foundation for the room. I’ll find a bedspread that’s all masculine lines, but we’ll soften it with a plush throw at the foot and a couple of throw pillows—”
“You do realize that I’m going to veto the throw pillows.”
“You can’t veto them before you’ve seen them.”
“Pretty sure I can.”
“You’re going to love it.”
He would. He had no doubt. And then he would hate it, because at every turn he would see Tessa’s touch.
14
TESSA DIDN’TGIVE UPon the throw pillows or her idea of using orange in Zane’s hall bathroom for a pop of color in the otherwise muted color scheme she had in mind, and the debate raged all the way from Pittsboro to Raleigh.
The afternoon had turned into an almost-date with Zane. He bought her meal. They flirted (a little), talked (a lot), and made plans for the future that involved her spending hours with him in DC. That last part caused tenuous hope to skitter through her system.
The time she’d spent with Zane, time intentionally not thinking about work, had been a needed respite, but Tessa felt the weight of responsibility settle on her shoulders as she walked into the office.
“Special Agent Reed.” Greg held up a hand as she scanned herself in, Zane behind her.
She liked Greg fine but she wasn’t in the mood to chat, so she kept walking as she said, “Greg, how’s it going?”
