“Tell me about Lily,” Vivi said. “Not the night she died, but who she was.”
Claire’s throat tightened. “She was smart and sarcastic. She wanted to be a marine biologist. She loved the ocean. We’d planned this trip to California the summer after we graduated high school. We were going to drive up the coast, see the redwoods, and visit Monterey Bay.”
“You loved her.”
“She was my sister in every way that mattered.” Claire’s voice broke, and a tear slipped out of her eye. She hurriedly wiped it away. “I didn’t have any siblings, and she had a brother, but he lived with their dad. I only met him once or twice when he came to visit.”
Claire paused, trying to pull up the memory. It was hazy, distant. “I saw him at the funeral. He looked...destroyed. Like part of him had died with her. I wanted to say something to him. Tell him I tried to save her, but all I could get out was, ‘I’m sorry.’ I was broken, and I didn’t know what to say to the brother of the girl I couldn’t save.”
The doctor’s pen did more scratching.
Claire closed her eyes. “Lily talked about him sometimes. Said he was in trouble a lot as a kid, but was getting his life together. He called her every Sunday night. She wouldn’t go anywhere, always waiting for that call, but that weekend, he couldn’t. He told her he was going out with friends. She’d been devastaed and I’d suggested the movie.” She blew out a deep breath, her lips vibrating from it. “If only he’d kept to the schedule, or I hadn’t convinced her to go out…” If onlys had tormented her all these years. “But my memories of him are vague. Just... a tall kid at a funeral who looked like his world had ended.”
She’d known exactly how he felt. Her own world felt the same way and?—
Her vision tunneled. Her lungs froze. She tried to breathe. Couldn’t. Her chest was too tight. The air too thin. The walls too close.
“Claire?” Vivi’s voice came from far away. “Claire, look at me.”
But she couldn’t. She was back there. On the ground. Watching Lily being dragged away. Screaming her name.Failing. Failing. Failing.
Her vision narrowed even more, spots dancing at the edges, closing in. Her hands were numb. Her heart was racing so fast it hurt.
“I can’t—” she gasped. It was a panic attack. She hadn’t had one in years. The therapy had fixed this, taught her how to control her emotions. “I can’t…breathe. I can’t?—”
The door burst open. Wolf dropped to his knees in front of her. “Claire. You’re okay. Look at me.”
She couldn’t. The room was spinning. Lily was screaming. Bobby was at the funeral. The man in the car. The bracelet. The countdown. Three days until the anniversary. She’d failed. She’d failed. She’d?—
“Claire.” Wolf’s voice was firm, grounding. “Eyes on me. Right now.”
The command cut through her spinning thoughts. She forced herself to focus. His green eyes were so steady. Calm. Alive.
“Breathe with me,” he said. “In for four. Hold for four. Out for four. Can you do that?”
She tried. Failed. Gasped.
“You can do this.” His hands found hers, solid and warm. “In. Two. Three. Four. Hold.” She did it. Not as smoothly as his voice coaxed her to, but as best as she could. He squeezed her hands in encouragement. “Two. Three. Four. Good. Now, out. Two. Three. Four.”
Vivi’s voice joined his, softer. “You’re safe, Claire. You’re in Montana. You’re at Shadow Point. The man who took Lily is dead. You’re safe.”
“In. Two. Three. Four.”
Claire’s lungs found rhythm following Wolf’s voice. His hands warmed hers, his eyes anchored her.
“That’s it. Again.” He breathed with her, exaggerating his inhale. “In. Two. Three. Four.”
The room stopped spinning. The dots receded. Her heart slowed its frantic race.
Wolf was so steady. So calm. “Keep breathing. You’re doing great.”
Vivi stood. “I’m going to get you some coffee and sugar. Be right back.”
The door closed. It was just Claire and Wolf, her hands still in his. His eyes continued holding hers.
“I’m sorry,” Claire whispered. “I haven’t had a panic attack in years. I thought I was past them.”
“Trauma doesn’t work like that.” His voice was rough. “It waits. Hides. Sneaks up on you when you’re not looking.”
