Sidney reaches across the table, clasping my hand and stopping me from tearing up the paper napkin into little pieces.His touch gives me the strength to find my voice again.
I thought my family would be supportive.Help me when the time came.I was wrong.I fake laugh, remembering their reactions.So wrong.They allowed me to live at home until my final trimester, and then they wanted me out.They didn’t want the media finding out and completely destroying my father’s reputation.
Sidney’s brow scrunches up in confusion.The media?How is the media connected to your family?
This isthebig reveal.The information that could make or break my future with Sidney.My father isn’t a good man; he isn’t nice and supportive behind closed doors.In front of others?Sure, he’s the shining example of the perfect father—the perfect leader.
My father is Phillip Watson-Montgomery,I admit to him in a hushed whisper.I’m his first-born child from his first affair after he married my ‘mother.’I use air quotes.My birth certificate was altered.A lie that has been covered up to protect his wholesome image.
Isn’t he the one—
Yes.
And he wrongly supports—
Right again.
I keep cutting him off because I don’t want to talk about my father’s gross politics.He’s a man who preaches one thing: old-fashioned views on what a family should be and what a wholesome household should look like.It’s all smoke and mirrors.He says one thing—screams it, more like—but did the exact opposite.Not only am I a reminder to him of his failure, but I’m also the crack in his campaign’s fortress.If someone found out my true parentage, it would be over for him.
He took me from a mother who couldn’t fight back, paid her off, and made her disappear.Then he forced his wife, who had multiple miscarriages over the course of their relationship, to adopt me.And she loved me…until her biological children came along.
I take a deep breath, licking the side of my lip as I steady myself to tell him the rest.
I was already the black sheep of the family, the one with the secret to destroy everything he’d lied so hard to achieve, but when I got pregnant with Joey, that was the last straw.I was to do as they demanded, or I would be disinherited and cut from the family.I tip my head toward Sidney.You know the path I chose.
There’s a long silence.Sidney releases my hand and leans back in his chair.His gaze goes over my head as something plays out in his mind.For a moment, a mere second, I think he’s going to pack up and leave.I wouldn’t blame him.My father’s politics are…unhinged.
When Sidney does look at me again, he gives me a nod and stands up.But he doesn’t leave.He sidesteps to my side of the booth and places his arm over my shoulders, bringing me in close.His first words surprise me.
What a fucking hypocrite.Part laugh, part wheeze escapes my lips.I have to take a sip of my water to compose myself.He shunned you, even though the bastard isn’t the saint he’s trying to convince the world he is.Fu-ck-ing hell,he enunciates slowly.
Yeahis all I’m able to say, pressing my lips into a thin line.
I’m sorry, baby.That fucking sucks.No other way to say it.
It did—at the time.But it was honestly for the best.It meant Joey’s grown up so far from that pretentious, closed-minded world.
He’s a great kid.
He is, isn’t he,I proudly agree.Leaning into him more, I rest my head on his shoulder.His arm instantly goes around me, holding me tight against him and soaking in all his warmth.Wow,I say on an exhale of air.That was a lot.I haven’t told anyone that story for a really long time.Not like this.
Silence.But not uncomfortable.
Then Sidney gives my upper body a squeeze with his arm, and I duck my head closer to his skin, breathing in his woodsy scent.When I feel at peace again, the cold pinpricks of the past leaving my skin, I sit up but don’t break my connection with Sidney.Intertwining our fingers, I grin over at him.When he sees my happiness, he smiles back.
I look at our hands, then at him again, feeling so free, and happy…and safe.I’ve shared a part of myself that I’ve kept hidden for so long that the relief feels like a ten-pound weight off my shoulders.I want to laugh and cry and dance around I feel so light.But we’re in a crowded restaurant, so I settle for the next best thing.
I lean over and kiss his cheek.When I pull back, he turns to me, and I see something sparkle in his eyes.The cheek kiss was simple and sweet.Yet what I see in his eyes is anything but.I was to explore that.Soon.
Thank you for letting me share that with you.It’s been a long time since I’ve told anyone that.
Thank you for trusting me.The sincerity in his voice has me swallowing back a laugh-cry.I’m sorry,he says quietly.You deserved better than that.
I swallow.I know.But it’s only a part of what shaped me.
It’s part of your story.And I’m glad you told me.
God help me.I’m glad too.
