Licking my lips, I nod.Okay.
The next morning, the first thing I see when I look at my phone is a headline that has my breath catching again.
FLORIDA’S FALLEN WALL: CRANE CRACKS UNDER PRESSURE.
I expect guilt and shame to overwhelm me…but those aren’t the emotions I’m feeling.
Sadness and betrayal swirl in my gut.
I’ve given this city, this team,everythingI have.Game after game, I’d performed to the top of my ability.Then, in a moment of personal crisis, they turned on me.
Even my teammates hadn’t bothered to reach out and check in on me.
That’s when it really hits me: I need to make some serious changes.
CHAPTER ONE
SIDNEY
Four Years Later
I’m about ten seconds away from losing my mind.
There’s no breathing technique or meditation visualization that could get me through the absolute meltdown I’m in the middle of.I didn’t know it was possible to feel both sympathy and utter annoyance at the same time.
But I am living proof it could happen.
The crying in my back seat takes on a new level of devastation as I pull into the hospital parking lot.I cringe at the high-pitched wail and grip the steering wheel tighter to fight through the auditory torture.
It hurts, Uncle Sid.Ohhhh, it hurts so much.
I know, Moose, I know.We’re almost there, and I promise the doctors will make the pain go away.
I’m dying.This is the end.
It’s not, Harper.I tell her with all the confidence I can muster.It’s not,I then whisper to myself.Her sniffles from the back let me know she doesn’t believe me.This pain is just temporary.The words are out of my mouth before I know I’m saying them.Shit, I hated using that phrase, but my brain isn’t working on all cylinders at the moment.I’m spewing crap to Harper in order to keep her calm and me relatively sane.I know it hurts, but we’ll have a doctor look at it, and they will make it all go away.
Harper’s little face scrunches up like she’s tasted something bad, pausing her crying for a couple of seconds so her disdain really hits home.That look is like a punch to the gut.
I don’t even believe the words coming out of my mouth.I’m repeating the crap my old Juniors coach used to yell at me in the gym—which is terrifying.
Pulling into the hospital’s parking lot, I come to a stop at the parking barrier.
Five fucking dollars for half an hour?I spit, absolutely thrown by the hourly price.Robbery.What the actual fu—
My arm is gonna fall off!I’m never playing with Heather P.again!She’s a monster!
Frantically, I undo my seat belt and lean through the window to try and press the big green button which is supposed to spew out a parking pass.I’m an inch away, my hand bobbing up and down as I try to reach just a little more.Just a little farther.It’s not working.
I swear to God,I curse, bringing my upper body back into the car.I can already feel a bruise forming on my abdomen.Opening the car door, I stomp a foot down and contort myself once again, finally close enough now to touch the green button.
I start muttering nonsense words to Harper, trying to keep her calm as I press the button…then press it again…then press it again.I swear I’m seconds from breaking into tears too, when the machine finally beeps and flashes green.The metal arm rises, and a ticket is printed out.
I want and need Harper to be okay, but I also really, really want this visit to be the fastest one on record.This day just kept getting worse and worse.
I release an agitated sigh as I rip the ticket from the machine.Looking up at the concrete ceiling for patience, I take a deep breath.There’s no time for me to do any of my breathing exercises but I can take a moment to get my agitation under control.
When I feel a little less out of control, I swing myself back into the driver’s seat—and yelp with pain.My ass hits something sharp, and I have to clench my jaw shut to keep the string of curse words I want to scream into the void back.Gliding my hand angrily under my ass to find the offending object, I come up with a broken crayon.
