I’d bet any money that Dani is revving up to tell Eddie embarrassing stories about me.I need to put a stop to that.
Hello, everyone!I say into the mic, and the crowd cheers back.Thank you all for being here today.It means so much to me that you all got up early to support Goals for Good.There’s more applause.
Taking a deep breath, I begin the story that started it all.“I’m going to be honest right out of the gate—this isn’t the easiest thing for me to talk about.I’ve stood in front of sold-out arenas, cameras inches from my face, with millions of people watching…and talking about my experience with anxiety still makes my hands sweat more than a game seven ever did.Because what I’m here to speak to you about today isn’t about stats or wins or highlight reels.This is about what happens when the lights go out.My anxiety didn’t start when I reached the NHL.It started when I was a kid.Back in Juniors, when I was supposed to be living the dream.
From the outside, everything looked perfect.I was winning games, getting attention, moving up the ranks.Inside?I was constantly wound tight.I couldn’t shut my brain off.Every mistake felt catastrophic.Every bad practice felt like proof I didn’t belong.And don’t even get me started on what a loss felt like.
There’s a small, hushed chuckle from a couple of people in the crowd that makes my lips twitch.
“But here’s the thing—back then, mental health wasn’t something we talked about.Not in locker rooms or with our coaches.Not even with ourselves.Hockey players can be superstitious weirdos, so changing anything in our pre-game routine isn’t even a possibility.What I did instead of identifying what was wrong with me was I pushed through.I sucked it up and told myself it was just pressure, just nerves, and just part of what it meant to be a professional.And if I couldn’t handle it?That was a weakness that I needed to stamp out.
“So I ignored it.I didn’t deal with it.Unchecked anxiety doesn’t disappear.It grows, and it waits.And for me, it showed up at one of the most important moments of my life—my chance at the Cup.I won’t get into every detail, but I will say this: my body was ready.My skills were there.But my mind wasn’t.I was playing scared.Overthinking.Holding my breath instead of trusting myself.And when that moment passed—when that opportunity slipped through my fingers—I didn’t just lose a game.I lost a piece of myself.That was the moment I couldn’t ignore it anymore.I finally did what I should’ve done years earlier.I asked for help.And it changed everything.
“Acknowledging my anxiety didn’t take hockey away from me—it gave it back.I learned that anxiety isn’t failure.It’s information.It’s your mind asking for support, not punishment.And that’s why Goals for Good matters so much to me.This isn’t just a charity.It’s a promise.A promise that young athletes, like all of you, won’t have to white-knuckle their way through fear alone.You and your coaches have access to resources before the pressure becomes overwhelming.That mental health will be treated with the same seriousness as physical injury.Because if a player pulls a muscle, we stop the game.But when a kid’s mind is screaming for help?We tell them to ‘toughen up.‘ That has to change.
“Goals for Good exists to shine a light where there used to be silence—to say that your mental health is part of your training, part of your performance, part of who you are.I wish someone had told me that earlier.So I’ll say it now, so everyone here understands: You’re allowed to ask for help.You’re allowed to feel scared.And taking care of your mind is one of the strongest things you’ll ever do.
Thank you again for being here today.Thank you for your support and for listening.And thank you for believing that doing good can change lives—on and off the ice.
There were a couple of instances of me stammering again, and I forgot the order of the talking points our PR rep had drilled into me.I must have looked like an overheating robot trying to simulate human sincerity.A miracle didn’t just help me finish that speech—it dragged me across the finish line by the ankle.
As soon as I utter the finalthank you,I don’t even pretend I’m staying to mingle.I hand my microphone to the volunteer like it’s about to detonate and step off the stage, waving my thanks.
I can still see Eddie.I never take my eyes off her.
I’m sure Dani is filled with smug satisfaction, talking to the very woman I had refused to go into detail about last night.She’s learning things I desperately want to learn and probably filling Eddie’s head with embarrassing stories of me.
Selfishly, I don’t like the idea of my sister knowing more about Eddie than I do.That might make me an alpha asshole, but here we are.
She looks fantastic.Different, since she isn’t wearing her work scrubs, but just as gorgeous as I remember.Wearing jeans and a cozy sweater, hair pulled back in a messy bun that, once again, makes me want to touch the shell of her ear as I tuck a strand away, she looks the definition of Sunday chic.She looks warm and soft and not even a little bit like someone who should have the power to make my brain disconnect from my mouth.And yet, somehow, she does.
She’s talking to Dani about something, laughing.Her smile lights up her whole face as she reaches out to clutch my sister’s sleeve before she leans over into her laugh.Dani does the same, trying to regain her composure.
I’m halfway to her when a voice pierces the arena.Small, loud, and with absolutely zero filter.
UNCLE SID!YOUR CRUSH IS HERE!
Whoa, whoa, whoa,I hush Harper as I grab her and swing her into my arms.Quiet, Moose.We have to keep that our little secret,I whisper into her ear.We need to play it cool.
Her head turns slowly to me, her eyes wide as my words sink in.I see the exact moment a mischievous glint sparks to life.When she nods, I’m almost scared of what’s to come.Wiggling out of my arms, she barrels toward her mom.
Harper Crane-Mayfield,Dani hisses, throwing a gloating look over her shoulder at me.We donotyell things like that in public.
But it’strue!Harper shrieks before Dani clamps a hand over her mouth.
Sorry,Dani says to Eddie, her expression exasperated.Then she turns to me.Sorry.Great speech though.The wink that follows has me shaking my head.It was nice to meet you, Eddie.Sorry to have my child scream at you and then dash, but we have an appointment.See you around, I hope.
You should date my Uncle Sidney and then—Harper is cut off when Dani scoops her up around the waist like a linebacker intercepting a pass and spins, walking away fast.Bye!she yells over her mom’s shoulder, delight all over her face.
I cover my face with my hands briefly, needing a couple of seconds to figure out how to play this off.It took Harper all of thirty seconds to forget our pact and I don’t want Eddie to think I’ve been talking about her non-stop.Thinking about her non-stop, sure.
A laugh at how absurd this morning has turned out to be bubbles up and bursts out of me.If Eddie didn’t know that I’d mentioned hera couple of timesto my family, she does now.I wouldn’t say I’m embarrassed, but this is a unique situation to be in with Eddie.When I drop my hands, she’s watching me with a look that is equal parts amused and curious.
I cough, rubbing the back of my neck.Kids.They, uh…say the damnedest things.
Her lips twitch.I don’t think a brain-to-mouth filter kicks in until their mid-teens.But it still doesn’t stop them from speaking their every thought.
Well, I can’t wait for that to happen.I was thinking I need to up my bribery tactics.
